The Road To Redemption
by xhidden.tearsx
Summary: Alternate Ending to Enough. Follow the journey of Brooke Davis as she struggles to fix her broken life, become the person she used to be, and possibly find love along the way. Couples are undecided yet. Includes BL,BN,BP and some Brachel friendship.
1. Hold On

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ONE TREE HILL, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ANY OF THE SONGS USED IN THIS STORY. **_

_**AN: So this is the alternate ending to my one shot story Enough. If you haven't read the story yet I suggest you do just so that you know what is going on. Remember, that this is the ALTERNATE ENDING so there is a twist. Brooke doesn't die. This is about Brooke's recovery. She doesn't trip and shoot herself in the heart. Instead she gets her leg. The rest will pick up from here. Another thing to be aware of is that Haley and Nathan are NOT back together. She came back from the tour and he didn't get back with her instead they got an annulment. I know I should finish the reactions of Lucas and Peyton in Enough first before I start this story BUT I had the day off from school today and got a sudden jolt of inspiration and really wanted to start this story. Enough should be updated soon though. **_

_**Lyrics to the song are Hold On By Good Charlotte. **_

**Your days  
You say they're way too long  
And your nights  
You can't sleep at all**

**Hold on if you feel like letting go  
Hold on it gets better than you know**

Brooke Davis yawned as she opened her eyes. The only thing she saw staring back at her was blank white walls. She was in the psyche ward at the Tree Hill hospital and had been there for the past 2 weeks. Nathan and Haley came in often and Rachel was there every single day after school. She'd seen Mouth, Bevin, Skills, Karen, and even Deb a few times as well. Peyton had come to see her but she sent her away. She couldn't even look Peyton or Lucas in the eye. It was too embarrassing.

Her own parents hadn't even come after the hospital notified them of Brooke's condition. They said it was probably just a phase and she'd get over it with the help of some therapy so they forced her to spend some time in the fucking psyche ward. Some fucking parents they were. She had to spend 2 weeks at the hospital then she would be discharged and watched very carefully. If her condition worsened or did not change then she would probably either have to go to rehab or be checked in the psyche ward again.

The feeling of numbness that had consumed her body was starting to wash away. She was being replaced with an awful feeling, the feeling of shame and embarrassment. She couldn't look at the people she loved anymore without feeling embarrassed or ashamed by her actions. She knew that they thought differently of her now. Everyone would. She was scared to return to school and have to face everyone. News about Brooke's little suicide "attempt" had spread quicker than a forest fire. In a small town like Tree Hill word had gotten out fast about how Tree Hill's biggest protégé had attempted to take her own life. She couldn't even think about what people probably thought of her now.

Brooke heard a knock at the door and she looked up. It was one of the nurses.

"Brooke, you have a visitor", she whispered softly peeking her head inside the room.

"Who is it?"

"It's that Nathan boy that comes here often", she replied.

Brooke smiled weakly, "let him in".

The nurse nodded and stepped out of the way, allowing Nathan into the room. He closed the door behind himself and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Brookie, you feeling any better?" he asked concern flashing in his blue eyes.

Brooke shook her head, "not really".

"I just want to get out of this place. It's turning the feeling of nothing into the feeling of shame and anger and rage. I'd much rather feel nothing than ashamed or in pain", she continued, playing with the seams on the comforter that covered her bed.

"It will get better Brooke. I promise you that everything is going to be okay. It just takes some time but you are the strongest person I know Brooke Davis. You can get through anything. I know you can", he smiled, placing a comforting hand on Brooke's knee.

"Thank you Nate", she replied pulling him in for a hug. "You're a good friend, unlike some people".

He chuckled. "You think you'll ever forgive Peyton"?

"I don't know maybe but things will NEVER be the same as they were before. I've simply lost all my trust in her".

"Look, I have to get going. I promised my mother than I would go see her today. She just got out of rehab and I need to see her but I promise you that I will be back later", he told Brooke, giving her one more hug as he got up to leave.

"Nate".

"Yes", he asked turning around.

"Thank you for saving me. If it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't even be here right now".

"Anything for you Brooke", he smiled one last time before exiting the room.

Brooke smiled as she leaned back. She knew that things hadn't been easy for Nathan or Haley after she'd come back from her tour with Chris Keller. Nathan had been so broken during the time she'd left, leaving his brother and all of his friends behind to pick up the pieces. His life had become a mess and Brooke wondered how the hell he'd ever gotten through it. Seeing Haley every day, knowing that she wanted to get back together but he simply couldn't. She had hurt him too much and even though a year had passed since everything happened he still carried the pain with him. He was never going to forget it.

She wished sometimes that she had Nathan's strength. He had turned to the bottle at first when things got hard but he never resulted in things like self infliction, or drugs. People were constantly reminding her of how strong she was but she always felt so weak. She put on the strong façade to hide her true emotions and let her weakness go unexposed. They didn't know her. Nobody knew her except for Nathan Scott.

Nathan could relate to her and she could relate to him. They both lived lonely lives, although they were constantly surrounded by people. They had friends but both struggled to know who their true friends were, they both had parents that lived in misery and pretty much ignored their children. Nathan's father was an arrogant asshole that pushed him to his fullest potential, and his mother was a recovering addict that really did love her son but had too many complicated issues. Brooke's parents were engaged in a relationship full of lies and betrayals. Her father was a top of the line lawyer that traveled so much for work and her mother was always away on vacations because she hated the town of Tree Hill. They temporarily moved to LA but let Brooke stay in their house while they were gone.

Both Brooke and Nathan were popular. He was the captain of the basketball team and she was the captain of the cheer squad. They both felt enormous pressures to succeed. Brooke was supposed to help her mother start up a successful fashion line when she graduated and Nathan was supposed to play for Duke, and then be drafted to the NBA. Their parents both had plans for them but they didn't even think about Brooke or Nathan's dreams. It was about what they wanted.

There is one more major thing that Brooke and Nathan have in common and that is the loss of love in their lives. Nathan lost his wife Haley when she chose to walk out on him to go on tour with stupid Chris Keller. They got an annulment shortly after she returned. Brooke had just lost the love of her life as well. Her steady boyfriend and first love Lucas cheated on her yet again with her best friend and left her for dead. Both of them were still in the process of mending their broken hearts.

As she thought about it Brooke never realized how similar she and Nathan were. They both came from broken families and both had fucked up and complicated love lives. She was so glad she had Nathan to endure this pain with. She wasn't sure she could get through it without him.

Brooke slowly closed her eyes, and laid her head down on the pillow. She needed to get some sleep. Tomorrow she was going home. Tomorrow she was going to change.

AN: Okay, rusty first chapter, I know but it will get better I promise. The purpose of this chapter was to define the Brooke and Nathan friendship and how screwed up both of their lives are at this point. I LOVE Brathan friendship and their relationship intrigues me as well. I will either make this story Brucas or Brathan. I'm open to either but I will let the readers decide that! Let me know which pairing you want. I will be putting a poll up on my page. If you want someone different, let me know in a review or PM and if I get enough suggestions I will consider it. If it ends up Brathan there will a great deal of Brucas friendship and vice versa. Also next chapter will be a flashback of the night Nathan saves Brooke!

_**.**_


	2. Break

**The lyrics used are Break By Three Days Grace. I know the first chapter was slow and the story will start out that way but it will get better and so will Brooke. This chapter has more Brooke and Nathan. Next chapter should include some Brucas and hopefully Breyton too. This chapter will be Brooke coming home from the hospital and a flashback of the night Nathan saved her. I wasn't going to update this until later after I got reviews from the first one but because the first one was so dull I decided to put this one up. Next update should be pretty quick too. Spring break is coming up in 2 days so I will have LOTS of extra time on my hands to write. **

**Tonight my head is spinning  
I need something to pick me up  
I've tried but nothing is working  
I won't stop, I won't say I've had enough**

Tonight I start the fire  
Tonight I break away

Break away from everybody  
Break away from everything  
If you can't stand the way this place is  
Take yourself to higher places

She was finally free. She would no longer be forced to stare at those blank and lifeless white walls all day long. She would no longer have to feel like she was a psychotic freak every day. The chains that held her down were finally gone.

"Hey Brooke", a soft voiced called from behind her and she whirled around to see who it was. Rachel.

Rachel had been asked to stay with Brooke until her condition was better and she could be left on her own. Rachel wasn't the most reliable person but she did care about Brooke and the nurses saw that and decided it was best for Rachel to stay with Brooke.

"Rach, did you finish unpacking your things yet", Brooke asked flipping through a magazine on her bed.

"Sure did. So how does it feel to be home"?

Brooke smiled, "amazing. I don't have to sleep on those crappy hospital beds anymore or eat their shitty food".

"Brooke, do you want to go out tonight? You should get out of this house, considering what happened here and all".

Brooke looked up at Rachel and shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere Rach".

"Brooke you can't just sit here all day. You have to face your demons; they can't hold you down forever. You aren't going to get any better if you don't leave the house," Rachel responded clearly getting fed up with Brooke's social behavior.

"I'm not leaving and that's final", Brooke hissed as she continued flipping through her magazine.

"You can act like this all you want Brooke but let me tell you something. You are never going to be yourself again if you isolate yourself from everyone around you. You have to let people in. You won't even talk to me Brooke and I know what you're going through. I've had a rough life and you know that but the only way I got better was to talk to people about it. You have plenty of friends that are willing to help you but Nathan is the only one that can seem to get through to you at all. I want you to let me in Brooke. I know that I can help you", Rachel stated as she put a hand on Brooke's shoulder.

Brooke just shook it off. "You don't understand Rachel. Nobody understands. Just leave me the hell alone".

"I'm sorry Brooke, I tried. I'm going out with a few people if you decide you want to tag along you know where to reach me", Rachel stated as she simply got up off the bed and left.

The minute she heard the front door slam, indicating Rachel had left, she let the tears pour. She didn't even try to stop them, there was no use. This time she was definitely crying for something. Her life was a mess and she needed to fix it but it was so damn hard. She couldn't trust anyone anymore and more importantly she couldn't trust herself.

Brooke buried her face in her pillow and soon the pillow was soaked with her hot tears. She gently drifted off to sleep within a matter of minutes.

Meanwhile Nathan Scott lay awake in his bed unable to sleep. He kept thinking about Brooke and how much she had been through the past few weeks. That day was imprinted in the back of his mind for eternity. He was never going to forget it.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_**Brooke, where are you?" a voice echoed throughout the insanely empty house.**_

"_**I thought I'd stop by and see if you needed anything", the voice hollered again. **_

"_**BROOKE. WHERE ARE YOU?" the voice sounded frantic this time. **_

_**Heavy footsteps echoed as the person trudged up the stairs. The light was on in Brooke's bedroom. He could see it shining from the small slit under her door. He knocked softly. "Brooke. Open the door", he commanded. No response. **_

_**This is it he thought as his hand gripped the doorknob. He sucked in his breath as his hand slowly turned the knob. He was afraid of what he might see on the other side. **_

_**Nathan Scott's face was stricken with horror the minute he opened that door. Lying, on the floor in a lifeless heap, with a pool of dark red blood surrounding her body was none other than Brooke Davis. A shotgun was placed on the floor beside her and a piece of paper lay beside the gun. He saw broken shards of glass in various places around the room. They appeared to be the remnants of a broken bottle and a broken picture frame.**_

_**Instantly Nathan ran over to Brooke and dropped on his knees. "Brooke, are you awake. Brooke answer me", he yelled grabbing her limp body. **_

"_**Nathan", she mumbled groggily. Her eyes barely open. **_

_**She was still alive. He reached into his pocket for his cell phone. His fingers trembled as he pressed in the numbers 911. A lady answered the phone. **_

"_**Hello, my name is Nathan Scott. I just found my friend in her bedroom. She's been shot and she needs medical attention immediately", he yelled into the phone. **_

"_**I need you to stay calm Mr. Scott", she started.**_

_**Before she could finish Nathan cut her off. "My friend is on her deathbed and you expect me to be calm. She needs medical assistance right now or she is going to die"!**_

"_**Alright, where is your location", she asked. **_

"_**614 Sunrise Boulevard, Tree Hill, North Carolina", he answered remembering Brooke's address by heart. **_

"_**Help will be on its' way", the lady responded.**_

_**Nathan thanked her and hung up.**_

"_**Brooke", he whispered. No response. "BROOKE!" he tried again. No response.**_

"_**Shit", he mumbled to himself, checking to see if she still had a pulse. She did. She was just unconscious. **_

_**He noticed that the blood was oozing out of her leg. He ripped his shirt off and wrapped it around her leg to stop the excessive bleeding. As she did so he noticed the piece of paper on the floor beside the brunette. He picked it up and stared at it. It read: To Lucas and Peyton. You got what you've always wanted. I'm no longer standing in your way. **_

_**Nathan had to bite back his tears. Brooke Davis had attempted to commit suicide and it was all his brother and ex-girlfriends fault. He ran his hand over the crumpled paper and sighed. It just wasn't fair. Something this tragic didn't deserve to happen to such a beautiful and amazing girl. He had known Brooke Davis for a lot of years but she had never in the 10 years they'd been friends done something like this. It scared him too even think about it. **_

_**Shortly after he heard the door burst open and before he knew it paramedics were rushing in with a stretcher. **_

_**Nathan watched, a spark of sadness in his blue eyes as the paramedics lifted the beautiful brunette onto the stretcher. **_

"_**You're the kid that found her?" one of them asked. **_

_**Obviously Nathan thought to himself as he nodded his head.**_

"_**Would you like to ride with us in the ambulance then?" the paramedic asked.**_

_**Nathan managed a small yes as he followed them out of the Davis house. He spotted pretty much every one of her neighbors standing on their lawns with their mouths wide open as they watched the queen of Tree Hill High being escorted out of her almost vacant house on a stretcher. **_

_**The ride to the hospital was short and Nathan had no idea what to do as they got there. The paramedics rushed Brooke to the Emergency room and instructed Nathan to fill out some forms and identify who the young girl in such a tragic state was. **_

_**The hard part came next. He had to call everyone and notify them of Brooke's condition. He started by phoning Rachel first. Rachel promised to call Mouth and Peyton then head over to the hospital. Nathan was faced with the agonizing task of calling Brooke's parents and Lucas. He was also forced to call Haley, his ex-wife. First he decided to try Haley. He waited for the phone to ring and finally as he'd given up hope on her ever going to answer he heard her soft voice mumble, "hello" into the phone. **_

"_**Haley, it's me Nathan. There's been an accident. I need you to come to the Tree Hill hospital immediately", he stated firmly.**_

"_**Who was in the accident", she asked afraid of the answer.**_

"_**Brooke", he whispered into the phone. **_

"_**Is she okay?" Haley asked her voice full of concern.**_

"_**I don't know Haley. She's been shot. They're operating on her right now but she needs all the support she can get".**_

"_**I'll be right there. Lucas is with me also so I will bring him along if you don't mind", Haley questioned.**_

"_**You can bring Luke. He has a right to be here to", Nathan responded even though he wasn't sure if Lucas deserved to be there. **_

_**Nathan dialed the number of Brooke's parents, which the receptionist had given to him from her medical records. **_

"_**Hello", a stuck up sounding voice answered as he dialed the California number.**_

"_**Mrs. Davis. This is Nathan Scott calling".**_

"_**I remember you. You're friends with my daughter", the lady on the other end replied.**_

"_**There's been an accident. Brooke has been shot", Nathan notified Victoria.**_

_**There was silence on the other end then a voice spoke, "Do you know who shot her and is she going to survive"?**_

"_**She is in surgery right now. I think she's going to be okay but I can't make any promises and to answer you're other question yes I do know who shot her. She shot herself". **_

_**He was pretty sure Victoria's jaw dropped to the floor.**_

"_**You're telling me that my daughter attempted to commit suicide"?**_

"_**Yes, I am. This is a very serious matter Victoria. She is in critical condition".**_

"_**I'm sure it's just a phase. Brooke is always dramatic. She was probably drunk and did it for attention. She always was such an attention whore", Victoria responded as if it were no big deal that her only child had just attempted to take her own life. **_

_**Nathan couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew that if he was in the same situation at least Dan would be there for him. **_

"_**You are one fucking cold and heartless woman Victoria. I can't believe that you think that way about your daughter. She fucking tried to kill herself and you don't give a shit. Brooke is an amazing person and it's too bad that she has a mother like you", he yelled angrily into the phone. **_

_**He was pretty sure he could hear the queen bitch laughing in the background. **_

"_**Are you done yet Mr. Scott because I am extremely busy and I have important stuff to do", Victoria said with an annoyed tone in her voice.**_

"_**Shit that's more important than the fact that your only daughter could die"?**_

"_**I didn't want children anyways", she stated coldly. **_

"_**Wow Victoria you really are a bitch. I assume you won't be coming to the hospital then"?**_

"_**I don't see why I should have to. Brooke will be just fine. Put her in some therapy like rehab or a psyche ward and she'll get over it".**_

"_**I can't believe you", Nathan yelled angrily into the phone as she slammed it shut. **_

_**He turned to look and saw Rachel burst through the door with Mouth and Peyton both at her sides. Lucas and Haley were trailing behind with Karen also. **_

"_**Nathan. What the fuck happened?" Rachel asked loudly as she ran over to where he stood. **_

"_**Watch your mouth young lady", the receptionist warned Rachel but received a deadly glare in return. **_

"_**I think you guys might want to sit down for this one", he said motioning towards the chairs in the waiting room. **_

_**Everyone took a seat and all eyes were focused on Nathan, each demanding an answer. **_

"_**Brooke was shot. She tried to commit suicide and shot herself in the leg. I found her while she was still alive and the ambulance came and brought her to the hospital", Nathan responded and he got the reactions he was expecting. **_

_**Haley broke out in tears, as did Peyton. Lucas got up and started hitting chairs and pushing stuff around. Karen put a hand on her heart and was barely able to look up. Rachel and Mouth both looked in shock.**_

_**Lucas broke the awkward silence. **_

"_**Why would she do this? It's all my fault for the way I treated her. God I feel like such a fucking idiot. We wouldn't be here right now if I wasn't such a fucking moron", he yelled tears streaming down his face. He'd never seen Lucas get so emotional not even when Keith died. **_

_**Nathan decided to leave the suicide note out for now. It was only going to cause more problems. **_

"_**Is she going to be okay", a sob stricken voice asked quietly. **_

_**He looked up and saw that it was Haley. He put an arm around her and she flinched at the contact. **_

"_**She's going to be fine Haley. We have to pray that she will pull through this".**_

"_**I can't lose her Nathan. I already lost Keith and I can't stand to lose someone I love so much", Lucas mumbled from his chair beside Haley. **_

_**Peyton looked upset for her friend and awkward that Lucas admitted he loved Brooke. **_

_**They waited for hours just talking about everything. Nathan told them about Brooke's parents and how his phone conversation went with Victoria and of course Karen wanted to give her a piece of her mind. **_

"_**Family of Brooke Davis", a voice asked and everyone whipped their heads to the doctor that stood before them.**_

"_**That's us", Nathan replied gesturing to the group beside him as he rose from his seat. **_

"_**Well, because Miss Davis is 18 she didn't need parental consent to go through with the surgery. We did what we thought was in her best interest. It was risky but it seemed to have worked. We've stabilized Brooke and wrapped her leg up. She lost an extreme amount of blood but luckily you found her in time Nathan. She is very lucky. We also pumped her stomach due to an overdose of alcohol consumption. There is a pulse but she is still unconscious. We will keep her for a few nights in recovery. I also spoke with Brooke's parents on the phone and they want her to be checked into the psyche ward for 2 weeks to maintain the state of her mental health", the doctor explained. **_

_**Nathan nodded his head and thanked the doctor. **_

"_**One of you can go visit her at a time", he added. **_

"_**I'll go", Nathan offered and none of the others objected.**_

_**He made his way down to room 15 in the intensive care unit where Brooke Davis was currently recuperating. **_

_**The brunette looked so helpless lying in that hospital bed. Her leg was propped up on a few pillows and he noticed a fresh bandage around he wound. Her hair was a mess and her makeup all over the place but she couldn't have looked more beautiful to him.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Nathan snapped out of his flashback. Brooke was one of his best friends. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about her like that. The truth is Nathan always though Brooke was absolutely gorgeous and any guy would have to be blind not to but when he saw her in that bed he saw Brooke in a new light. He'd always seen her as strong and independent but for the first time he saw a weakness; a vulnerability in her. It was something that he was sure Lucas had caused. She seemed so innocent and so broken in that hospital bed and to him she looked simply beautiful.

**AN: Lots of Brathan and Brachel in that chapter. Next one Brooke goes back to school and we will see a Brucas confrontation and maybe a Breyton one. Also I love the whole Brooke and Victoria reconciliation thing so I MIGHT make that happen in future chapters but I'm not sure yet.**


	3. Not Ready To Make Nice

_****_

Forgive, sounds good  
Forget, I'm not sure I could  
They say time heals everything  
But I'm still waiting

"Brooke get your lazy ass out of bed. If you don't hurry up we're gonna be late", the voice of Rachel Gatina boomed.

"Go away. I don't wanna go to school today", Brooke moaned groggily as she buried her head in her pillow.

Rachel came and sat at the end of Brooke's bed. "Come on B you have to go. You promised you would and this is the first step in redemption. You have to face your fears".

"Fine, I'll go but only because if I don't you'll have my ass shipped back to that stupid hospital".

Rachel smiled. "I made breakfast so hurry up before it gets cold".

Brooke burst out laughing. "You attempted to cook? I think I'm going to skip breakfast today", she teased.

"Shut up whore. I can cook. Sort of. It's not that bad. I didn't burn the pan this time. Besides I made your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes".

"I guess it can try them. It's the least I can do considering you're staying here to help me get better".

"Alright well hurry up and get ready because they aren't going to stay warm for much longer. Either that or I might eat them all", Rachel joked.

Brooke nodded her head and headed into the bathroom to shower.

40 minutes later she appeared downstairs in the kitchen showered, dressed, with makeup and hair done.

"You look great Brooke. You have nothing to worry about. If anyone says anything to you I will kick their ass", Rachel smiled handing Brooke a plate of warmed pancakes.

Brooke got up and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Wow, Rach I'm impressed. You made me breakfast and coffee and you actually got up early to make sure that we'd make it to school on time", Brooke grinned taking a sip of coffee. "And this coffee doesn't suck either".

"I promised you that you'd get through this. I'm just here to help Brooke".

Brooke sat down, bit into her pancakes and nearly choked.

"So how are they?" Rachel asked.

"Uh, good", Brooke lied as she pretended to swallow them.

"Good", Rachel smiled getting up to put her coffee cup in the sink.

Meanwhile, Brooke spat the pancake into her napkin.

"Shit Rach, we have to go. Sorry I couldn't finish", Brooke apologized.

"It's okay. I'll make some more tomorrow".

"Actually, I think I'll take you out for breakfast tomorrow", Brooke offered.

"Why?" Rachel asked suspiciously.

"Think of it as a gift for doing all of this for me", she replied quickly.

"Okay", Rachel smiled.

Rachel grabbed her keys and sunglasses off the table and headed for the door. Brooke followed her, slipping on a pair of black flats and grabbing her bag.

5 minutes later they pulled into the parking lot of Tree Hill High.

"Rach, I'm scared", Brooke said looking around the parking lot.

"Brooke, it's going to be okay. We have most of our classes together. Between Nate, Hales, and I you won't be alone at all".

"Hey look there's Nate", Rachel smiled pointing towards the black car that pulled up beside them.

"Gatina, Davis. How are you two this morning?" Nathan questioned getting out of his car.

"I've seen better days", Brooke grumbled.

"We'll all get through this together Brookie", he smiled giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Nathan was nervous about seeing Haley today. He knew that she was going to be around a lot, seeing as she was such a caring person and she would want to help Brooke out as much as she could.

Nathan pulled open the large glass doors at the front entrance of Tree Hill High, allowing Brooke and Rachel to go in ahead of him.

The minute Brooke set foot in that school, she could hear the whispers from students around her. People that she would've once considered her friends were now looking at her like she was a crazy bitch. Instead of being welcomed by whistles and "Hey Brooke. What's ups" she was welcomed by intense staring, whispering and gossiping. As if she didn't know they were talking about her. What a bunch of idiots she thought.

She pushed her way through the crowd of people towards her locker, Rachel and Nathan following close behind. She had biology first block with Rachel, Haley and unfortunately Lucas and Peyton.

She walked to class with Rachel. Neither of them said a word which was unusual because they would usually gossip about their weekend, check out hot boys, or comment on peoples' outfits.

She pushed open the door to the biology lab and all eyes were on her. She walked by Tim Smith's desk and saw him making a slashing motion at his wrists. Rachel sent him a glare and leaned down and whispered something in his ear. Instantly his eyes widened and his cheeks turned red. He put his head down and looked away from Brooke.

"What did you say to Tim?" Brooke asked curiously once she sat down in a desk at the back of the room.

"I told him that if he ever did something like that again that I would cut his balls off and shove them up his ass", she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Knowing him he'd probably like it to".

Brooke burst out in a fit of laughter that was cut short the minute she spotted the two blondes walk into the classroom. They weren't holding hands or whispering shit in each others' ears. They looked uncomfortable and distant. Lucas took his seat in front of Brooke whereas Peyton sat by Bevin on the other side of the classroom.

"Hey Brooke", Lucas smiled turning around to face the brunette.

"Luke", she said nodding her head towards him.

"How are you this morning?" he asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I've been better", she replied looking down at her paper.

"I know we broke up but I am here for you Brooke", he smiled placing a hand on top of hers.

"Thank you", she whispered.

"Class. Be quiet please. We will be doing a lab today so the sooner I get instructions over with, the sooner we will get to work", Mr. Johnson said loudly instantly hushing the class.

Lucas shot Brooke a smile before turning around in his seat. Why didn't she have the balls to stand up to him and tell him what was really on her mind?

Anxiously Brooke stared at the clock, only 2 minutes to go. She had Physical Education next. Unfortunately for her Lucas was also in that class. Luckily Nathan and Rachel were also in there with her.

"Alright class, we will finish the lab tomorrow. No homework tonight", Mr. Johnson's voice boomed, interrupting Brooke from her thoughts.

Brooke felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up from her paper and was met with Lucas's gorgeous blue eyes.

"Brooke I was wondering…" he started but the bell interrupted his sentence.

Saved by the bell. Brooke grabbed her notebook, shoved it into her bag and quickly stood up.

"Sorry Luke. I gotta go", she apologized quickly.

Phys Ed went by slowly but Brooke managed to avoid Lucas through most of it. She just stood by Nathan who glared at Lucas the whole class. However, he kept sending her little smiles and flirty looks and quite honestly it was creeping her out.

As she was exiting the gym after class she heard someone running up behind her and she spotted Lucas. Fuck she thought quickening her pace.

"Brooke", he called grabbing her arm as he caught up.

"Don't touch me", she barked yanking her arm away from his grasp.

"What's wrong with you Brooke? You were fine in biology class", he questioned looking at the brunette with sadness in his eyes.

"Well that was before you gave me creepy flirty looks in Phys Ed class", she stated angrily.

"Brooke I don't know what you're talking about".

"I think you do Lucas. I'm not your girlfriend anymore. You can't look at me like that anymore. I'm going through a lot of shit right now and I don't need you doing this to me".

She started walking away and Lucas grabbed her again.

"Wait, Brooke. Can I talk to you about this please? Will you meet me somewhere for Lunch"?

Brooke thought about it for a second. She knew that if she didn't set Lucas straight once and for all this was never going to end.

"Fine, I'll meet you at your locker after class", she huffed turning on her heel, leaving a confused Lucas standing behind.

After third block Lucas Scott stood at his locker, waiting for Brooke to come. He was surprised that she had agreed to talk to him but there were a few things he needed to say to her. He needed her to know how he truly felt.

He spotted the brunette walking down the hall towards his locker. God she was beautiful. He really was an idiot for kissing Peyton and agreeing to date her. He couldn't believe he'd let Brooke go. He still loved her and he knew it.

"Brooke", he smiled as she approached him.

"Let's make this quick Lucas. I don't have all day", she mumbled coldly.

"Alright, let's go to the rivercourt", he suggested.

Brooke nodded. She knew it was best if they weren't on school grounds considering they'd probably end up arguing anyways.

The ride to the rivercourt was silent. Lucas had the radio on low and Brooke just looked out the window. Within a matter of minutes they arrived at the basketball court. Lucas got out and opened Brooke's door for her.

They sat on the picnic table beside each other. "Brooke I'm sorry", Lucas said breaking the silence. "I was such an idiot for kissing Peyton. When you broke up with me my whole world was crushed. I don't know why I dated Peyton she was just there but I just want you to know that my heart is still with you".

"Lucas you can't say those things to me. It's not fair. I tried to kill myself over you and Peyton", she yelled. Uh oh she wasn't supposed to say that.

"That's why you did it Brooke? You killed yourself because of me? Fuck I'm such an idiot. I had my suspicions at first but I didn't think that you would actually kill yourself over me. I thought you were just drunk and it was a random spur of the moment thing".

"Lucas you don't know half the shit I've been through because of you two". She really shouldn't be showing him this but there was no way back she'd already gotten herself in too far and he did deserve to know all the pain he caused her.

She lifted back the sleeve of her shirt and turned her arm upside down, showing him her wrist. His eyes went big as he saw the red marks covering her wrist.

"Oh my god Brooke", he whispered, running his hand along the cut marks.

"I'm so sorry".

He pulled the brunette, who now had tears running down her face in for a hug. Surprisingly she didn't pull away. She let him hug her. When he finally released her his shirt was soaked. He reached down and wiped the tears from Brooke's eyes with the pad of his thumb.

"It's okay pretty girl. Everything's going to be alright. I'm here for you", he smiled rubbing her back. Brooke cringed at his nickname for her but she decided not to say anything.

"I forgive you for kissing Peyton. I understand the circumstances. I just want you to know that no matter how much I forgive you I will never forget. It just hurts that all", she told Lucas, staring up into his eyes.

"I know Brooke. I'm just glad that you can forgive me because I really missed you", he grinned.

"I want to go home now. I think I'm going to skip the rest of school today. I'm tired and I just want to lie down", Brooke told Lucas.

"Can I give you a ride?" Lucas asked.

"I can walk it's not that far".

"Don't be silly Brooke. I'll give you a ride".

"Fine", she smiled following Lucas to his car.

"I missed your smile", he whispered as he opened the door for her.

They made small talk the rest of the way home.

"I'll see you tomorrow Brooke", he smiled as Brooke pushed open the car door.

"Yah, I guess so", she nodded.

"Thanks for letting me in Brooke. If there's anything else you want to talk about I'm here", he added.

"Thanks Luke".

Brooke dropped her bag once she got in the door. She let her back fall against the door and the tears pour from her eyes. Why the hell did she still feel like this? Just when she thought she was finally over him, he goes and acts like this. He has a girlfriend for crying out loud and now he's calling her pretty girl and hugging her. It wasn't fair.

After a few minutes Brooke got up and went to her bedroom. She let herself fall back on her bed. Tomorrow was going to be one hectic and confusing today. She couldn't believe she'd let Lucas see her scars. He probably thought she really was a crazy bitch now. She put on her ipod and pretty soon she was fast asleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

AN: I'm sure the Brucas fans are happy! I know that she forgave Lucas way too easily but it goes to show that Lucas really is one of Brooke's biggest weaknesses. Lucas is going to play such a key part in Brooke's redemption that I decided it was best if I brought some Brucas closure early on but don't worry she won't stay happy with him for the rest of the story. They will still have some ups and downs. Next chapter is going to be a very important one. A few fights might break out. Not saying between who. Also another very crucial thing is going to happen. I will try and get the next chapter up by about Tuesday or Wednesday if I can. Credits to the song are Not Ready To Make Nice By The Dixie Chicks. Please Review!


	4. Monster

**The secret side of me, I never let you see  
I keep it caged but I can't control it  
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it**

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls  
It comes awake and I can't control it  
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head  
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster

* * *

On the outside Brooke Davis may seem to be coping with her life much better than anyone thought she would've but on the inside was a completely different story. She put up her walls again in attempt to shut everyone out of her life. She didn't need people seeing the "new" Brooke Davis that had replaced the old one. She didn't need people to be subjected to the mess her life had become. It was something she'd much rather keep to herself.

The whole week had flown by, but it wasn't getting any better at school. The students at Tree Hill High still gossiped about Brooke Davis. She'd become the most recent topic at most lunch tables. Over the week she'd heard many different versions of stories about her suicide attempt.

Today was Friday. The end of the week had finally come and Brooke only had one more agonizing day of pain to endure. She'd been skipping classes here and there but she'd managed to go to at least a few classes every day under Rachel's watch of course. Rachel was very adamant about Brooke going to school.

"Are you going to cheer practice after school?" Rachel's voice asked, breaking Brooke out of her previous thoughts. Rachel had taken over the squad until Brooke was back on her feet and able to continue running her squad.

"I'm still on the team?" Brooke asked clearly surprised. She was sure that nobody would want her on the team after her break down.

"Of course you're still on the team silly. You're still the captain, I'm just filling in for you".

"I guess that I could come and give it a try. I really don't want to face Peyton though".

"Don't worry about chicken legs. You still have Hales, Bevin, and I," Rachel smiled stealing a french fry from Brooke's plate.

Brooke swatted Rachel's hand away. "Get your own fries bitch".

"Ladies," a voice said and Brooke swiveled around to see none other than Nathan Scott.

"You know Hales is sitting here right? She just went to get some more ketchup for her fries".

Nathan shrugged as he pulled up a chair to the table. "I don't care if Haley is sitting here. We might be divorced but she is still friends with you Brooke and I can accept that".

"How's Brookie doing?" Nathan asked with concern in his eyes.

"I'm doing fine Nate," she replied getting frustrated with him. She loved Nathan and he was a great friend but she was so sick of being asked how she was doing all the time.

Before Nathan could reply to Brooke's sarcastic answer, Haley sat down.

"Hey Nathan," she mumbled looking down at her plate.

"How's Haley?" he asked trying to be polite.

"I'm surviving," she answered.

"Good," Nathan replied awkwardly.

"So Haley, Brooke is coming to cheer practice tonight," Rachel told the light brunette sitting across from her.

"That's awesome Brooke. We really missed you on the squad and besides Rachel is practically a Nazi cheer captain," Haley joked receiving a playful glare from the redhead.

"Good for you Brooke. It's nice to see you getting out and doing the things you love to do again," Nathan added giving Brooke a reassuring smile.

They all made small talk for the rest of the lunch hour. When the bell sounded the 4 of them split up and went their separate ways.

* * *

Brooke was extremely nervous as she pushed open the doors to the Tree Hill High gymnasium. The girls from the squad were all stretching and warming up on the sidelines while the basketball team was warming up for their practice. Lucas shot her a wink and she managed to give him a small smile back as she headed for the bleachers to drop her bag off.

She heard a few of the girls whispering as she headed to the locker room.

"Just ignore them Brooke. You're better than that and you know it," Haley's comforting voice came from behind her.

"Thanks Haley but it's just so damn hard when they are supposed to be your fucking friends".

"You're a brave girl Tigger, facing these people after everything that has happened. I don't know if I could do it".

"Thanks Hales," Brooke smiled as she grabbed her pom poms and headed back into the gym.

"Brooke. Haley. Over here," Rachel called waving at her 2 friends.

"As you all know Brooke has been dealing with some issues but she is back now. I suggest all of you be nice to Brooke or I will seriously kick your ass and then you will be thrown off the squad," Rachel stated firmly. "Any questions"?

Nobody said anything. Alright let's get started then," Rachel smiled.

* * *

Practice went by alright. Nobody said anything to Brooke.

"That's it girls. You can all go home now," Rachel yelled signifying the end of practice.

"Rachel, can I talk to you for a second? I don't understand this new routine," Bevin asked after everyone was leaving the gym.

Rachel nodded and Brooke told Rachel she'd wait for her in the change room.

Theresa Ames, also known as Tree Hill's biggest slut and Ashley Jones were talking in the locker room when Brooke walked in.

"So you know how James broke up with me like 2 week ago?" she heard Ashley say.

Theresa nodded her head. "Well he's dating Amy Andrews now and she's like one of my very best friends".

"Wow. Maybe you should go cut your wrists and drink a shitload of vodka then go to the psyche ward for a few days because it must be the end of the fucking world," Theresa laughed unaware that Brooke was standing right behind her.

"Excuse me bitch?" Brooke's voice roared silencing Theresa's laughter.

"Shit. Sorry Brookie I didn't know you were standing right there," Theresa smirked.

"For your information my personal life isn't any of your fucking business. You don't know the fucking story so before you assume shit shut your fucking mouth," Brooke screamed, her face turning a bright shade of red.

"Ouch that hurt my feelings so bad. I guess I should go cut my wrists and cry now," Theresa laughed pretending to cut herself with her other hand.

"You fucking bitch," Brooke yelled hurling herself at Theresa.

She punched the dark brunette in the face a few times. Blood was dripping from Theresa's nose and laughing could be heard from behind Brooke.

"You go Brooke. What did that bitch say to you?" Rachel asked.

"She was just making jokes about the Brooke/Lucas/Peyton love triangle and jokes about cutting and going to the psyche ward so I put her in her place," Brooke answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Ames. You're off the squad. Don't even think about coming back," Rachel smirked slapping Theresa across the face.

Theresa grabbed a hold of Rachel's hair and Rachel bit her. Brooke could barely contain her laughter.

"What the fuck was that for bitch?" Theresa questioned her eyes full of tears.

"That was for messing with my best friend bitch," Rachel smirked.

The door to the change room burst open and Coach Whitey Durham stood before the 3 girls.

"What the hell is going on in here? I could hear you girls yelling from the gym," he demanded pushing his way over to the girls.

"Those bitches punched me, slapped me, and bit me," Theresa yelled pointing at Brooke and Rachel.

"She pulled a chunk out of my hair and she deliberately made cruel remarks to Brooke about her problems. She started it all. She egged Brooke on and I just defended Brooke," Rachel explained glaring at Theresa.

"That's enough ladies. The 3 of you are suspended until next Wednesday," Whitey announced glaring at them.

Theresa smirked at Brooke before grabbing her bag and heading out of the locker room. Rachel made a face back at her and when Whitey wasn't looking she flipped Theresa the bird.

* * *

Lucas Scott sighed and ran his hand through his wet hair as he exited the gym after basketball practice. He was going to go over to Peyton's house and break up with her right now. He had to do it and he couldn't keep putting it off.

"Lucas," a voice called and Lucas looked over his shoulder to see his brother running towards him.

Nathan had been very hostile towards him lately and he wasn't quite sure why.

"Hey man what's up?" he asked holding his fist out to Nathan.

Nathan didn't pound it like usual.

"You are one fucking asshole," he spat glaring at Lucas.

"What the fuck did I do?" Lucas asked confused.

"Brooke almost died and it's all your fucking fault".

"That's why you're mad? You have to understand Nathan that if I had known Brooke was going to try to kill herself I never would have gone out with Peyton".

"You still love Brooke?" Nathan asked.

"Of course I do. I never wanted her to end things between us but Peyton was just there and I don't know she said she loved me. Peyton was just the safe choice but I never loved her like I love Brooke".

"Brooke deserves better than you. She has gone through hell because of you. When I found her there was a suicide note that said _To Lucas and Peyton. You finally got what you wanted. I'm no longer standing in your way. _You guys really hurt her Lucas and it isn't fair to keep leading her on like that," Nathan yelled at him.

Lucas hung his head. He felt really bad. He sure had fucked up bad.

"Brooke may forgive you but I sure as hell don't. If you know what's best for you stay the fuck away from Brooke," Nathan warned Lucas before turning around and leaving the gym.

Nathan had never been this protective of Brooke. Lucas found it extremely strange. Something was definitely going on and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

Lucas knocked on Peyton's door. Things had been on the rocks between them lately but he knew Peyton was not going to take this well at all.

Peyton answered the door a few seconds later.

"Hey Luke," she smiled leaning in to kiss him but he pulled back.

"What's wrong Lucas?" she asked sensing that something was obviously wrong with him.

"We need to talk Peyton," he stated firmly, running his hand through his blonde locks.

This can't be good Peyton thought. It was never a good sign when your boyfriend says he needs to 'talk' to you.

"Sure come in," she smiled warmly ushering him inside.

"Thanks", he mumbled closing the door behind himself.

He walked over to the couch and sat down. Peyton joined him on the other end of the couch.

"Want something to drink?" she asked breaking the silence.

Lucas shook his head.

"Look Peyton this has been really difficult on us lately, almost losing Brooke and everything. I just think that we rushed into a relationship too fast. I didn't even have time to mend my broken heart first and I think that hurt our relationship too much".

"What are you saying?" Peyton asked on the verge of tears.

"I'm saying that I don't think I can do this anymore," he answered guiltily as his blue eyes met her sad green ones.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she choked fighting the urge to hold back her tears.

"Yes," he answered softly.

"Why Lucas? Why? Did I do something wrong. Am I not good enough for you?" the blonde demanded.

"No Peyton it's not that. I just don't think that you and I are a good match. You are one of my best friends and you always will be but my heart belongs to someone else. I can't keep lying to myself or to you. We are only kidding ourselves Peyton. I was wrong to rush into a relationship with you when I was still in love with Brooke and I don't want us to grow to resent each other. We are only holding each other back".

"How are we holding each other back Lucas? I love you so much and I care about you more than anything," Peyton yelled as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

"You say that now Peyton but what about 2 or 3 years down the road? I don't want us to end up in a miserable relationship. I still love Brooke and it would be wrong of me to keep leading you on and telling you that I love you when I don't. I'm sorry Peyton but it's over".

With that Lucas got up to leave. He shut the door as he exited the house but Peyton came chasing after him.

She grabbed Lucas and kissed him with everything that she had and Lucas didn't resist. In his mind this was a goodbye kiss, a final closure between the 2 of them. He knew that it was what Peyton wanted and if it set him free from her than he was willing to give it to her.

Unbeknownst to Lucas, someone was watching. Someone who was going to be deeply affected by this kiss.

* * *

AN: Finally Leyton is over but Peyton is not giving up without a fight. Next chapter will be a huge Breyton blowup. Brooke starts to relapse. Her progress will start to take a dramatic slip as she grows tired of Peyton and Lucas drama. Brooke and Lucas may also have a confrontation next chapter. Lyrics to the song are Monster by Skillet. Please Review! Also don't forget to vote for who you want to be endgame in the poll on my page! The poll shouldn't be up for much longer so get your votes in while you can!


	5. Falling Inside The Black

**You were my source of strength  
I've traded everything  
That I love for this one thing**

**Dreaming of the way it used to be  
Can you hear me  
Falling in the black  
Slipping through the cracks  
Falling to the depths can I ever go back  
Falling inside the black  
Falling inside, falling inside the black**

For Brooke Davis watching her best friend and ex-boyfriend standing in Peyton's driveway kissing felt like a slap in the face. Technically because she and Lucas weren't dating she couldn't consider it a betrayal but somehow it was killing her. So Brooke Davis did the thing she was best at, she ran.

She ran away from Peyton and Lucas. She just ran, not really sure where she was headed. None of this made sense to her. Earlier today she'd caught wind of Lucas telling Haley that he was breaking up with Peyton tonight but it sure as hell didn't look like they had broken up. The 2 'lovers' jamming their tongues down each others' throats didn't look like a break up to her. She couldn't believe she had gone to Peyton's house to make peace with her. Peyton Sawyer was still a bitch.

Her feet finally found their way back to her house. She needed to talk to Rachel.

"Rachel," Brooke yelled the minute she walked in the front door. No response. "RACHEL," she yelled again. No response.

She saw a note on the kitchen counter. She went over and picked it up.

_B,_

_Sorry, I had to go to Nathan's house. Deb is drunk again and he needed my help. I shouldn't be home any later than 10. Let me know how you're talk with the whore… I mean Peyton went. _

_Love, Rach._

Brooke groaned. This was so fucking hard. Her 2 best friends were busy with Nathan's drunken mom and she had no one to talk to.

She stumbled up the stairs, tears escaping her eyes as she made her way into her bedroom. She slammed the door shut and collapsed on the bed.

Brooke's frown curled into a devious smile as she reached into her bedside table. Her hands felt around underneath the papers and other junk in there. She found the small box she was looking for.

Her fingers pried the stubborn lid off and she emptied the contents out onto her bed. One hit couldn't hurt. She had done so well and now that times were tough again, the drugs would help suppress the pain for one night.

She grabbed a magazine cover and emptied a small dose of marijuana onto the surface. She grinded it to perfection, then skillfully wrapped the grinded marijuana into a paper, and sealed it shut once it was perfected. The former addict decided her room was not the best place to smoke this joint because Rachel would smell it so instead she grabbed her lighter, and headed out to the old storage shed in her backyard.

The door wouldn't budge so Brooke had to practically kick it just to open it. She slipped inside and shut the stubborn door behind her. Grinning, she lit the joint, blowing out a huge ring of smoke as she took the first hit. It was amazing. For just a moment the pain was numbed.

Shit. According to her cell phone it was 5 to 10. Rachel was going to be home any minute. She was almost done anyways. She took one last hit, coughing out a giant cloud of smoke. Satisfied she put the joint out and tossed it somewhere in the back of the shed.

The minute the brunette clicked the back door to the house shut, she heard the front door open. Shit Rachel was home. Brooke slipped off her shoes and quietly tiptoed up the stairs as she heard Rachel set some stuff down in the kitchen.

She closed her bedroom door and whipped her shirt off, throwing it in the pile of dirty clothes that had collected in the corner of her room. She grabbed the first clean one she could find from her dresser and ran into her bathroom.

She squirted herself with perfume and swigged some mouthwash. She looked in the mirror. Her eyes were redder than hell. SHIT. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She reached for the eye drops in her cupboard and quickly squirted the liquid into her eyes.

She tiptoed into her bed and pulled the covers over her head just as Rachel's hand reached for the doorknob.

"Brooke," the redhead called softly as she peered into the room.

"I'm trying to sleep Rachel. Go away," Brooke mumbled trying her best to sound tired.

"Come on Brooke. You're not that tired. You couldn't have crashed from your sugar high already," Rachel grinned as she attempted to pull the covers off Brooke's head.

"Fuck off Rachel," Brooke yelled again.

"You're hiding something under there," Rachel said yanking on the covers.

The 2 girls fought over the blankets but finally Rachel's strength won.

She took one look at Brooke and gasped. Brooklyn Penelope Davis are you high?"

"No I'm not high," Brooke laughed.

Slap. "You're fucking high," Rachel yelled as her hand connected with Brooke's cheek.

"What the fuck was that for Rachel?" Brooke demanded holding her sore cheek.

"You promised me that you would quit Brooke. You resisted for 3 months and now you cave. Something happened."

"Rachel nothing happened."

"Don't fucking lie to me Brooke. Something happened and you're going to tell me so I can help you or your ass will be shipped back to the psyche ward before you can even blink. You choose."

"I'm not going back to that fucking place Rach."

"Good then it looks like you're gonna tell me."

"I saw Lucas and Peyton kissing. They were fucking sucking face in her damn driveway about an hour ago," Brooke confessed, tears threatening to fall from her red eyes.

"Brooke I know that you aren't over Lucas. You can deny it all you want but I'm not an idiot. Whether or not you still love him he is dating Peyton. They have a right to kiss," Rachel answered softly.

"He told Haley he was going to breakup with her. I heard him say it. I'm not upset because I love Lucas. I am denying it because I don't fucking love him. He ruined my fucking life and I will never be able to love him again. I'm upset because I want Peyton to be miserable and because Lucas is being a fucking idiot. He keeps messing with both of us. As much as I hate Peyton Sawyer's guts he needs to make up his fucking mind. If he wants her then he needs to stop leading me on and if he wants me then he can go screw himself but at least not lead Peyton on," Brooke yelled, the tears now flowing freely down her face.

"Brooke I'm so sorry," Rachel said reaching for her friend. She pulled Brooke in for a hug.

"I think you need to talk to Peyton and straighten this out," Rachel told Brooke after she released her.

Brooke nodded. "I know it's late but I'm going right now."

"Need me to come along?"

"No, this is something I need to do alone."

"PEYTON ELIZABETH SAWYER OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE," Brooke yelled at the top of her lungs, as she pounded on Peyton's door repeatedly.

"It's fucking 10:30 at night Brooke. Have some manners for crying out loud," a very disheveled looking Peyton roared as she whipped the front door open.

"I need to talk to you Peyton," Brooke stated coldly, glaring at the blonde in front of her.

"I don't have all night," she retorted ushering Brooke inside.

"I thought you and Lucas broke up," Brooke glared, her eyes practically burning a hole through Peyton's.

"We did but then I chased after him and he kissed me back," Peyton replied shrugging her shoulders. "It isn't my fault he kissed me back. I can't control that."

"How could you do that to him Peyton? He told you he wasn't in love with you. Why don't you just leave him alone?"

"Brooke he doesn't love you. He told me," Peyton lied.

"I don't give a shit if he doesn't love me. He doesn't love you either. He told me," Brooke fired back.

Peyton didn't say anything.

"Peyton you two put my life through hell. I became miserable because of you. I will never forgive you for it. Lucas at least showed remorse towards his actions but you didn't. You didn't care Peyton. You never did. It was always about you and what you wanted," Brooke screamed breaking the silence.

"I brought you these," she added handing Peyton a box.

Inside were a bunch of cds that Peyton had made for Brooke, several pictures, clothes she'd borrowed from Peyton and several other items that had once held a memory in their friendship.

"This friendship is over. You and I are done Peyton. You dated my boyfriend only a month after we broke up. You ruined my life and you don't even give a shit. You aren't sorry and you only care about yourself. You can go rot in hell Peyton Sawyer. You are dead to me," Brooke spat out firmly as she turned to walk out on the best friendship she'd ever had.

She could hear Peyton crying. She turned back around and walked back over to Peyton.

"Oh and one more thing," she smirked, raising her hand backwards and before Peyton could react her hand hit Peyton's cheek at lightning speed. Peyton yelped in pain. "I hope that hurt bitch."

Brooke Davis smiled contentedly as she lay in bed at night. She and Rachel were having a sleepover.

"I can't believe you slapped her Brooke. That's 2 girls in one day," Rachel laughed hi fiving her best friend.

"Thanks Rachel but now that I'm on a roll I think I'll tackle Lucas tomorrow," she added. "That man whore needs a little talking to."

Rachel smiled. "I'm so proud of you Brooke. You promise that you won't turn to drugs, alcohol, or cutting anymore?"

"I promise," Brooke smiled linking her pinkie finger with Rachel's.

"Good," Rachel smiled before turning on her side to fall asleep.

Brooke knew that she should keep her promise to Rachel but nobody understood her pain right now. She was going to need all the help she could get to get through this and her 'little friends' such Mary Jane, pills in a bottle, vodka, and razor blades were going to help her.

She was slipping off the rails and she knew it. She was going to give up everything for this one thing. She was going to give up her life to renew the monster she'd been a month ago. It was just easier to live that life and feel no pain that to feel like this.

She decided to get some sleep because tomorrow she was going to cut Lucas Scott out of her life again. She'd cut Peyton out and Lucas was next. She wouldn't hate him. She couldn't but she wasn't going to let him in either. This was her life. She chose it.

AN: Things are going to get rough for a little while. Brooke is starting to go downhill and will continue for a while. Next chapter will be Brooke sinking into a deeper depression. She just doesn't care anymore. She will obviously get into a fight with Lucas. I will also have some more Brathan and maybe another Lucas and Nathan confrontation. Song is Falling Inside The Black by Skillet. Review Please!


	6. 21 Guns

**Do you know what's worth fighting for  
When it's not worth dying for?  
Does it take your breath away  
And you feel yourself suffocating?  
Does the pain weigh out the pride?  
And you look for a place to hide?  
Does someone break your heart inside?  
You're in ruins**

----

The life she'd gained back was slowly slipping away and all she could do was watch. She was tired of fighting this and giving up was the much easier option. It was hard to believe that just months ago Brooke had everything, she was practically on top of the world. Somewhere along the way she lost the confident head cheerleader and student body president. She lost the girl that everyone wanted to be and every guy wanted to be with. The cheery brunette was replaced with a lonely, vulnerable, and miserable girl that seemed to be filled with hatred for the world. It might seem like the reason for this pitiful downfall went by the names of Peyton and Lucas but somewhere deep down Brooke knew they were just minor factors. She was responsible for her own demise. She had chosen to make herself miserable, and feel sorry for herself. She is the one who chose to live like this and she is the one that is going to pay for it.

Lucas Scott was sitting in front of his computer on Sunday morning, staring at a blank page. Every time he tried to write something his finger found its way to the backspace button. This was useless. He just wasn't inspired enough to write anything. He glanced at his cell phone. 3 missed calls. There were 2 from Peyton and one from Brooke. Frustrated, he deleted both the calls from Peyton. He didn't want to get back together with her. Why couldn't she just get the hint? He was about to dial Brooke's number when he heard a knock at the door. Great, it was probably Peyton.

Lucas opened the door with an annoyed expression on his face. Quickly, it changed as she saw Brooke standing in front of him, hands on her hips.

"I was just trying to call you," he smiled, motioning for the Brunette to come in.

"Sure you were," Brooke retorted with an angry glare.

Lucas was taken aback by Brooke's attitude.

"Brooke what's wrong?" he asked putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Violently, she shook it off. "Do you even have to ask me that Lucas?"

"I don't understand."

"You don't understand huh? Would you like to explain to me why I saw you jamming your tongue down Peyton's throat after you guys were supposedly broken up?"

Fuck. Nobody was supposed to see that. "Brooke it was a goodbye kiss. I swear that it meant nothing. She kissed me first. You have to believe me," he pleaded.

"It sure looked like a goodbye kiss to me," she scoffed sarcastically. "And she kissed me first. Do you realize how pathetic that sounds? I'm pretty sure I heard that one before but wait we were dating when that happened!"

"Brooke I'm sorry that I hurt you before but it's not like you didn't hurt me. If I remember correctly you slept with Chris Keller while you had feelings for me."

Slap. "Lucas that is different and you know it," a fuming Brooke growled.

"Different? How so? You stand here and make me look ten times worse than you for kissing Peyton while we were together but you slept with CHRIS FUCKING KELLER, the same guy who ruined Nathan and Haley's marriage," he spat angrily.

"We weren't dating," came the reply he was waiting for.

"You're right we weren't exclusively dating but I know that you still had feelings for me. You made that very clear Brooke and when you have feelings for someone you don't sleep with someone else, especially Chris Keller."

"Lucas we both made mistakes. Neither of us are exactly angels but there really is no use in prying open old wounds. It isn't going to solve anything. What's done is done. We can't change the past but we can change the future," Brooke reasoned, silencing Lucas.

"Fine, but you know that I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you Brooke. I know that you always say a kiss means something Brooke and I'm not going to lie to you that kiss did mean something."

"Great, so you do love Peyton. I'm not going to hold you back from being with Peyton any longer. I don't care how much it hurts me, I want you to be happy Lucas and if it's with Peyton then so be it," she smiled.

"That kiss meant a final closure between the two of us Brooke. It meant the ending. It meant that we are over,"

"But I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong. I do not have any feelings for Peyton. Peyton told me that she loved me and I didn't know what to do. I just agreed to date her because she was the safe choice. She never argues with me and she will always tell me she loves me but I realized that was wrong. I couldn't be with someone I didn't love."

"I love you Brooke. I always have."

Awkward silence. What the hell was she supposed to say to that?

Finally she broke the silence. "I'm sorry Lucas but I don't feel the same way," she lied.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Don't lie to me Brooke. I know you love me otherwise you wouldn't have been jealous of me and Peyton."

"You think I'm jealous of you and Peyton? No. I just wanted to prove a point that you hurt me before. I've moved on Lucas. Everyone thinks that I've slipped off the rails because of you two but it's all a lie. It's Peyton's fault Lucas not yours."

"What about the suicide note Brooke?"

"Lucas I was drunk out of my mind. At the time I was upset that you and Peyton betrayed me. It just hurt that not even a month after we broke up you and Peyton started dating. It wasn't that I still loved you, it felt like I meant nothing to you, and that you were just waiting for me to end things so you could run to Peyton," she lied.

"That's not true Brooke."

"I know but it still hurts."

"I still meant what I said Brooke. Do you think that you could ever love me again?" he asked staring into Brooke's saddened hazel eyes.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry Lucas. I have to go," she replied not wanting to hurt the blonde. She may still love Lucas although she would NEVER admit it to anyone but she could never be with him again. She just couldn't trust him anymore.

"FUCK," Lucas yelled at the top of his lungs as the brunette ran out of his bedroom, door slamming behind her. He let her go again. When was he ever going to learn?

* * *

**When you're at the end of the road  
And you lost all sense of control  
And your thoughts have taken their toll  
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul  
Your faith walks on broken glass  
And the hangover doesn't pass  
Nothing's ever built to last  
You're in ruins**

---

Brooke didn't know where to go after she left Lucas's house. She needed to talk to someone. Karen wasn't an option considering her son was the one involved, Rachel was just going to tell her that she loved Lucas and she needed to go back over there and forgive him, Peyton was out of the question, and Haley was Lucas's best friend so she would probably take his side. Suddenly it hit her. Nathan. He was mad at Lucas right now and he was pretty much her best friend. He wouldn't try to convince her that she was in love with Lucas or pick his side.

"Brookie what are you doing here?" Nathan asked, surprised as he opened his front door, revealing the brunette in front of him. She looked so broken and distressed. It literally broke his heart.

"Lucas told me he loved me," Brooke confessed tears falling from her eyes. "And I told him I didn't feel the same way."

"Do you?" Nathan asked silently praying the answer was a no.

"No but I felt so bad about it. I mean he looked so sad and it broke my heart to see him like that," the brunette replied honestly.

"Brooke you don't have to feel bad for him. He broke your heart you know and he says he felt remorseful about it but you do honestly think he did?"

"Nathan I can't believe that you would say that. Of course he felt bad about it. He was convinced that I was over him when he dated Peyton and maybe I wasn't but I am now," Brooke stated firmly, her hands planted on her hips.

"Brooke you may be able to fool Rachel, Haley, Peyton, and even Lucas but you cannot fool me. There's something you're not telling me. You wouldn't act this way if you didn't still love him so I'm going to ask you one more time, are you still in love with Lucas?"

Brooke looked down, defeated. There was no use in lying to Nathan he wasn't going to believe her for a second. "Yes," she whispered.

"I thought so. Let me guess you can't be with him because you are afraid of getting your heart broken again and you don't trust him?"

Brooke nodded. "Good because if you go running back to him it's a guarantee that he is going to break it again," Nathan stated firmly.

"Nathan I'm just curious why are you so against me and Lucas getting back together? Everyone else seems to be pushing it but you're not."

"Brooke you are my friend and I care about you and I don't even want you being friends with that pathetic loser!" He was lying but Brooke would never have to know that.

"Lucas is not a pathetic loser. He is your brother for crying out loud and you're treating him like shit," Brooke yelled, her eyes becoming tiny slits of anger.

"Well he treats you like shit and if you want to defend Lucas then you should just go running back to him but don't come to me when he breaks your fucking heart again!" Nathan snapped, slamming the door in Brooke's face.

A frenzy of tears came crashing from her eyes as Brooke Davis stood dejectedly on Nathan Scott's doorstep. Had she just ruined one of the best friendships she'd ever had?

* * *

_Swoosh._ There was nothing like the sound of a basketball ripping through the hoop.

Lucas Scott retrieved the ball and positioned himself in front of the net again, lining up his shot the best he could. He pulled his arm back and aimed for the hoop, releasing the ball from his grip. The orange ball soared through the air and bounced off the rim, falling back onto the pavement, and rolling right into the feet of Nathan Scott.

"Nice shot," the younger Scott snickered picking up the ball and flinging it towards the net. "And that's how it's done," he laughed as the ball swished perfectly into the mesh.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas grunted, having not spoken to Nathan since their little fall out earlier in the week.

"I can't believe you told Brooke you love her. It's funny because you love Peyton, then Brooke, then Peyton, then Brooke, then Peyton, then Brooke. Make up your fucking mind," he laughed tossing the ball towards the net and watching it go in yet again.

"I was just telling her the truth Bro," Lucas stated snatching the ball from Nathan's hands and chucking it at the net. This time it went in. "Nothing but net," he laughed glancing over at Nathan.

"First of all don't call me bro. As far as I'm concerned we are no longer brothers. We are just two boys that come from the same sperm donor. Secondly, quit messing with Brooke. It isn't fucking fair to her. Brooke is in a critical state right now. She doesn't know what the hell she wants. She is going through some serious shit, courtesy of you and she doesn't need your bullshit at a time like this."

"What crawled up your ass and died Nathan? I get that Brooke is your friend and all but why are you taking all of it out on me? It's almost like you're jealous," he laughed throwing the ball to Nathan.

Nathan shot it at the net and smiled. "Well maybe I love her too."

Lucas almost choked on his own spit. "You love Brooke? Seriously Nathan this isn't funny. You're supposed to love Haley not Brooke."

"Well sometimes things change. I loved Haley but that seems like a lifetime ago even though it was only a year and a half ago. Somewhere along the line between Haley's absence and her own downfall I fell in love with Brooke," he answered with a shrug of the shoulders.

"I don't get it," Lucas sighed trying to reason why Nathan would love Brooke.

"After Haley left I was heartbroken and lonely and Brooke was just there for me. I watched you break her heart and I watched her suffer as you moved on to Peyton. Then she changed Lucas and I watched her break down and become a miserable and broken person. I've seen her in a whole new light this past year. I've seen her as a kindhearted good friend, and as a miserable depressed girl. We have been through so much together and somewhere along the line I started to fall for her," Nathan replied simply.

"Did you tell her?" Lucas asked.

"Nope and you're not going to either. This little secret is something we will keep between the two of us. I have blackmail on you so if you dare say a word to anyone there's a few things I'm sure you wouldn't want the world knowing about you."

"Does this make us brothers again?"

Nathan shook his head. "We are in love with the same girl Luke. I don't think we can ever go back to the way things were before."

Nathan picked up the ball and tossed it at the net one last time. He smiled as the ball ripped through the net. It felt good to finally have that out in the open.

* * *

AN: Lyrics to the song are 21 guns by Greenday. So Brucas and Brathan readers are probably both upset right now but I promise things will get straightened out quick. Next chapter will be some serious personal issues for Brooke and an intervention. She and Lucas also may have another little confrontation. Next updates will be slower now that school is starting up again. I just thought I'd add one more chapter before my life becomes hectic again. Don't forget to vote for endgame on my poll. It will be closing by chapter 8 I think so get your votes in before I make a decision!


	7. Pain

_****_

Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand

_**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

* * *

"Brooke!" Rachel called, her voice echoing throughout the empty house. She got no response. "That's strange I thought Brooke was home," Rachel mumbled to herself. She needed to talk to Brooke right now. Nathan told her that he'd gotten in a fight with her and that Lucas had confessed his love for her and she ran. Typical Brooke Davis, running away from everything life threw at her.

She climbed the stairs and when she reached the top, the redhead noticed the light on in Brooke's

Bedroom, the door was wide open, and music was blasting from the speakers. Adam Gontier's vocals drifted out the door. _Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_. Rachel covered her ears as she entered the room. That was Peyton's normal choice of music not Brooke's.

Rachel switched the music off and searched the room for Brooke. There was no trace of Brooke anywhere. The bathroom door was slightly ajar and light was seeping from the slit at the bottom of the door. Rachel walked over and pushed the door open. Horrified, Rachel let out a bloodcurdling scream at the sight before her.

Lying on the floor in a lifeless heap was Brooke Davis. She was slumped against the bath tub with a bottle of prescription pills and a razor blade. Blood dripped from her lacerated wrists and large bloody gouges were clearly visible beneath the excessive bleeding.

"Brooke! Wake up!" Rachel yelled slapping her best friend's face in attempt to wake her up. No response.

"Rachel," a voice muttered weakly.

"Brooke what the fuck happened?" Rachel asked as she pressed a towel against Brooke's slashed arm.

"So sick of this," Brooke mumbled incoherently as she leaned against Rachel's body. Rachel collapsed on the floor beside Brooke and turned to look in her eyes. "You're ruining your life Brooke," she mumbled. "Why?"

"The world is a fucking cruel place Rachel. That's why. Do you think I just woke up one morning and decided I wanted to live like this? No. Rachel I had everything then my best friend helped me boy friend cheat on me again, my parent's decided to move half way across the country and ignore me, and my grade's started slipping and I don't even think I'll make it to college. I had this whole perfect life planned out Rachel and now it's gone," Brooke yelled, her body violently shaking with every sob.

"Brooke, please just calm down," Rachel pleaded, glancing at her best friend. She removed the blood soaked towel and the bleeding hadn't stopped yet. "Brooke, do you want me to take you the hospital?"

Brooke shook her head. "I'll be fine Rachel. I've been doing this for a long time. It's never serious enough to kill me because I don't cut far enough down on my wrist that I will strike a vein."

"If you don't want to kill yourself then why do you do it?" Rachel questioned, wiping Brooke's arm with the towel.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "It releases the pain and rage from my body. It makes me feel better. It's like a drug to me. It calms the entire system but without lethally poisoning yourself."

"Hey the bleeding has stopped," Rachel exclaimed. She sprung up from her spot on the floor and grabbed the first aid kit out of the cabinet.

She pulled some stuff to clean the wounds out with. "This may sting a little," she warned, dabbing a cloth with it.

"OUCH. FUCK RACHEL," Brooke winced in pain.

"It's okay Davis. I'm finished. I just have to wrap it," she chuckled taking Brooke's arm and carefully bandaging it.

"Wow since when are you a doctor?" Brooke laughed shooting Rachel a look.

"It's one of my many talents. I was a disaster waiting to happen as a kid so I guess you pick up on those things after awhile," she smiled finishing the wrap. "There you go Brookie. You should probably lie down now."

Rachel helped get Brooke into bed. "Just call if you need anything. I'll be downstairs," Rachel smiled giving Brooke a hug before exiting the room.

"Rachel," Brooke called before the redhead was gone.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

Rachel just nodded her head and disappeared, shutting the door tightly behind her.

Brooke stared at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. However, the day's events kept replaying in her mind.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**Life was a bitch. Nathan was mad at her and she'd upset Lucas because of her stupid insecurities. The inability to trust someone, and of course the invincible walls that surrounded her heart were the only things standing in the way of her being with Lucas. They seemed to determine her fate. **_

_**Brooke whipped her bedroom door open, slamming it hard behind her. She collapsed on the large bed and grabbed her stereo remote. She needed some music that was going to influence her mood. Bending down, she searched a variety of burnt discs from Peyton. There were a few she'd forgotten to give back and maybe she'd find something good in the remaining stack. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. BINGO," she announced to herself, coming up with a disc that said Three Days Grace. They would be perfect because all of their songs were about rehab, drugs, cutting, or drinking. **_

_**Brooke seemed lost in her own world until a song she actually recognized started playing. It was called Pain and it reminded Brooke of her life so much it was scary. Just hearing the lyrics made her crave a little self infliction. **_

_**Brooke went to Rachel's shower and 'borrowed' her razor. Rachel usually hid them but luckily had forgotten this morning. **_

_**When she got back to her own room she headed into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar and leaned against the sink. **_

_**Something in the open cabinet caught her eye. It was a pill bottle. Brooke grabbed it and read the label. They were her mothers' fucking anti-depressants. She checked the date and saw that they weren't quite expired yet. Smiling to herself, Brooke popped the lid open and emptied the contents into her mouth. Thankfully the bottle was only about half full. **_

_**Shakily, Brooke gripped the dissected razor blade in her hand. It trembled as her hand lowered itself down to her arm. The skin was begging her, teasing her. Smiling in a sick and twisted way, she pressed the cold blade against her warm skin, making sure it was up high enough that it would release the pain and do the trick but not strike a vein and kill her. **_

_**She closed her eyes and gently ran the blade across her skin, sawing away at it. She increased the speed, and soon her skin became raw and numb, she could feel nothing. She was empty again. The blade attacked her skin, ripping and tearing it apart, draining the emotion out of her. A jolt of adrenaline rushed through her numbing body. She felt on top of the fucking world. This was an addiction, a sick and twisted addiction. **_

_**Thick red lines of blood covered the upper part of the brunette's delicate wrist, each line weaving a different pattern. Old wounds had been reopened and new ones had been added to the lacerated wrist.**_

_**Brooke reached for a towel to soak up the fresh blood but she felt dizzy. She started to fall, gripping onto the side of the bath tub as she slumped down further. Soon her petite body was lying in a heap beside the bath tub, blood dripping and oozing from pale skin. **_

_**There was no feeling like this in the world. This was the feeling of pain, the feeling of numbness the feeling of hatred, the feeling of life at it's' worst. **_

**You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand**

**Pain, without love**

* * *

"Brooke, wake up," a voice called shaking her sleeping body.

"Go away," the brunette grumbled hugging her pillow tightly.

"Get your ass up now Davis," a familiar masculine voice demanded while tugging on Brooke's covers.

"Nathan," she yelled jolting upright in bed.

"Hi," he smiled weakly.

"I thought you were mad at me."

"I was but Rachel told me about your relapse Brooke and I promised to help you and I don't break my promises. Besides I could never stay mad at you for more than 24 hours Brookie."

He reached for Brooke and pulled her in for a hug.

"I hate to interrupt the little reunion but we need to talk to you Brooke," Rachel state firmly, her hands planted on her hips.

"Why do you both need to talk to me?" Brooke asked narrowing her eyes at the two young adults in front of her.

Rachel sent Nathan a look and he nodded.

"Look Brooke," he said clasping his hands together as he paced the room. "Rachel and I both care about you so much. We don't like seeing someone that we love so much heading down a path of destruction. This isn't you Brooke. We want the old Brooke Davis back. The cheerful cheerleader and the confident student body president. That's the girl we want back. So we decided to stage an intervention for your own good."

Brooke burst out laughing. "Haha an intervention? Seriously Nathan? It's not funny to joke about that kind of shit."

"Uh Brooke we aren't joking. You need help," Rachel cut in glaring at her friend's erratic behavior.

"Who else is coming to this little intervention?" Brooke asked, air quoting the word intervention.

"It's just the two of us. Nobody else is going to come here," Nathan promised putting a comforting hand on Brooke's shoulder.

Brooke glared at him. "I don't need to deal with this shit," she mumbled getting up and walking towards the door. Nathan blocked her. "Sit down Brooke."

"Fuck you Nathan," she growled trying to throw him out of the way but the buff brunette stood solidly in her path.

"Come on Brooke sit down," Rachel insisted grabbing Brooke's arm.

Acting purely on impulse Brooke turned around and swung at Rachel. Her fist connected with Rachel's nose and dark red blood poured from the redhead's nose.

"FUCK," Rachel yelled, falling down to the floor.

"What the fuck Brooke?" Nathan screamed running over to Rachel.

"I think you broke her fucking nose!" he yelled bending down to inspect the damages imposed on Rachel.

"I've got to take her to the hospital Brooke. You stay here and cool down," he instructed picking up Rachel and escorting her out of the bed room. "We will finish this talk when we get back," Nathan called over his shoulder.

Brooke sank down on her bed. She had fucked this up badly. Rachel possible broke her nose and Nathan had given her a second chance. One that she had probably just ruined.

* * *

AN: Song is Pain by Three Days Grace. Next chapter Brooke will sink down even further. Things will start to become seriously bad. I know it may seem that Rachel/Nathan are awfully close but I promise this will not be Rathan if Brathan loses the poll. It will be Naley. Rathan friendship is just important in this story and in Brooke's recovery that's all. There is no romance there. Please Review!


	8. Animal I Have Become

_**I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**_

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal**_

**_----------_**

She was slowly sinking, further and further down into a dark depression. She was headed down a destructive path but she didn't have the strength to turn around. Change at this point seemed inevitable for Brooke Davis. Everything had started to fall back into place, and then a few unfortunate and confusing events lead her back to her previous nightmare. She felt like she was just running in endless circles, there was no escaping this. She was trapped inside this nightmare, clawing at the surface but there was no way out.

It had been 2 days since Rachel's return from the hospital. Luckily her nose had not been broken, just badly bruised. It had put Rachel in a bad mood however. She was starting to get really fed up with Brooke and the fact that she was making no progress. The intervention had not gone well at all and Brooke had gotten defensive and ended up hurting Rachel in the process. Nathan hadn't spoken to her in 2 days but he had texted her to say he wasn't mad at her, just disappointed.

* * *

"Rachel I'm sorry," Brooke pleaded for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"I know you're sorry Brooke. You only hit me out of impulse and I get that but that's not why I'm mad," the redhead answered, whilst turning her attention back to the soap opera she was currently watching.

Brooke looked down shamefully. "Why are you mad at me then?" she asked, afraid of the answer she was going to get.

Rachel muted the television and sighed, "Because you don't seem to be making any progress. You did very well the first few weeks but since then you've slipped. You can't resist the things that are your biggest demons right now."

"That's bullshit Rachel. I've been making a huge effort to change. I had those 2 little incidents Rachel that's it," Brooke lied, glaring at her friend.

"I don't know if that's true Brooke. I want to be able to trust you but I'm not so sure that I can. I've caught you twice but I don't know if there have been more situations or not," the redhead replied sincerely.

"I can't believe you're turning against me Rach. I thought we were in this together!" the brunette screamed, tears running down her face in a frenzy, bleeding tracks of thick black mascara.

"We are in this together Brooke. I am trying to help you but you won't let me. You're ruining your life Brooke and I don't want to stand by and watch it. You've lost damn near everything you've ever worked for but is it really worth it? Was giving up your extravagant life for this nightmare worth it?" came the angsty reply.

Brooke exhaled deeply and stared into Rachel's pleading eyes. "Maybe it is worth it. Maybe I had everything every girl dreams of having before but I was getting so sick of my life. I was getting so sick of getting my heart broken by insensitive assholes that claim they love me and backstabbing supposed best friends. At least this life doesn't bring me that pain because I can't feel anything. I'm fucking numb," the brunette replied, anger flashing in her comatose hazel eyes.

"Brooke you're scaring me. This isn't you. The Brooke I remember was so full of life and happiness. She could brighten anyone's day. That's the Brooke I want," Rachel replied, a hint of sadness evident in her voice.

"Well that Brooke is gone and she isn't coming back anytime soon," the broken brunette replied in a monotone voice. There was absolutely no life or emotion in her usually perky and cheery voice.

"Why are you doing this Brooke? It's not worth it over a stupid unfaithful boy and a pathetic lying best friend. There are millions of guys practically lining up to date you and I am you're new best friend so why? Why do you insist on keeping this behavior up?"

"This is my life now Rachel. I don't care what anyone says and just to let you know this is NOT about Lucas or Peyton. This is about me and my life," the brunette clarified furiously, the anger building up inside of her.

"If it's not about Lucas or Peyton then what is about?" Rachel demanded. She was not going to drop this until she got a legitimate answer.

"It's about ME!" she screamed. Peyton and Lucas might have caused it but I am the one that carried it on. I am not depressed because of them anymore. I am depressed because I got sick of living my life. How would you feel if your own fucking parents wouldn't come visit you in the hospital when you are on your fucking death bed? I am so sick of people assuming that I'm this strong girl because I'm not. I act tough on the outside but on the inside I'm breaking. Somewhere along the way life got the best of me and I gave up on who I was."

Rachel slowly nodded her head. "I understand Brooke but it still doesn't change anything. You need to get help and if things don't improve you are going to find yourself back in that psyche ward, staring at blank white walls all day long. I just want you to let me in Brooke. I want you to sit down and rationally tell me about it."

"I'm sorry Rachel but I can't do that because I don't even know the truth anymore. I've lost myself and until I discover who I really am, I can't let anyone in."

"Well I hope you find yourself really soon Brooke because I'm not putting up with this much longer," Rachel stated firmly before grabbing the remote, unmuting the television, and returning to her soap.

* * *

_**I can't escape myself**_  
_**So many times I've lied**_  
_**But there's still rage inside**_  
_**Somebody get me through this nightmare**_  
_**I can't control myself**_

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me**_  
_**No one will ever change this animal I have become**_  
_**Help me believe it's not the real me**_  
_**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**_

**_----------_**

Rachel was still vegged out on the couch when she heard a knock at the door. Who the hell was interrupting her desperate housewives marathon? This better be good.

She whipped open the door, revealing a disheveled looking Lucas Scott.

She laughed. "Dude you look like hell."

"Thanks Rachel but I've had a really hard last few days," he mumbled in a sardonic tone.

"This better be good Lucas because you interrupted my desperate housewives marathon," the redhead grumbled, letting him inside.

"Where's Brooke?" he asked setting his coat on the chair in the front room.

"Upstairs," Rachel answered settling herself back on the couch.

Lucas thanked Rachel and climbed the stairs in search of the beautiful brunette he was determined to win back.

"Make sure you two keep it down because I'm trying to watch my show," the redhead yelled over her shoulder with a wink.

Lucas smiled and rolled his eyes. He could hear music coming from the brunette's room and of course he was expecting her to be painting her nails or something.

His hand found the knob and slowly he pulled it open. The light was on but Brooke was nowhere to be found. He heard a small sound coming from the bathroom and he hesitantly he made his way over to the bathroom. The door was wide open and slowly he peeked his head inside.

His eyes widen in shock at the sight in front of him. Sitting on the edge of the bath tub was none other than Brooke Davis and 2 perfected lines of crystal white powder spread out on a magazine cover. Lucas's presence was clearly unknown to the brunette as she bent down, a rolled up 5 dollar bill in her hand, and as if she were an experienced addict she snorted the 2 lines. Lucas cringed as the white substance entered her nostrils, poisoning her perfect body.

He coughed and Brooke whipped around. "Rachel I thought you were watching… you're not Rachel," she groaned embarrassedly.

"WHAT THE HELL BROOKE!" the blonde shouted walking over to the shaking brunette.

"Lucas shut the fuck up. I don't want Rachel to hear you," she whispered harshly picking up her supplies from the edge of the bath tub and tightly closing the bathroom door.

"Brooke do you want to explain to me why the fuck I walk in here and find you snorting fucking cocaine?" the fuming athlete yelled.

"Lucas my life is none of your business anymore," she stated simply, shoving her razor blade, baggie of cocaine, and rolled up 5 dollar bill in a container at the back of her bathroom cabinet.

"Yes it is Brooke. I still care about you and we are still friends."

"No it's not Lucas. My life isn't anyone's business whether or not they are my friend," she hissed angrily while tossing the magazine cover in the garbage.

"I'm sure Rachel would love to know about this little relapse of yours," Lucas tested, his hands planted firmly on his hips.

"You wouldn't dare," Brooke gasped glaring at the brooder in front of her.

"Watch me."

"Lucas please don't do this," she pleaded, blocking his entrance from the door.

"I won't but only under one condition," he bargained.

"What condition?" she asked curiously, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

"You sit down and talk to me. I want you to let me in and tell me what the hell has been going on with you lately because I feel like it's all my fault."

"Believe me Lucas it isn't your fault. If you keep this little incident between you and I, I will tell you everything," she offered.

Lucas nodded and Brooke grabbed his hand leading him out of the bathroom. She quickly checked outside just to make sure that Rachel was still watching TV. Sure enough she was very engrossed in her program. Quietly Brooke locked the door and collapsed on her bed. Lucas joined her on the bed. Where the hell did she start?

Slowly she peeled back the sleeve of her hoody, revealing a gruesomely lacerated wrist. Lucas brushed his fingertips across the scars agonizingly.

"I thought you stopped," he croaked, desperately fighting the urge to hold back his tears.

"I did. For a while anyways but then things got worse," she admitted shamefully.

"Why?" he asked with a hint of curiousity in his voice.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Life got in the way that's why. I became this person I hated so much but to me that person didn't have to experience pain or feel so broken. That person felt so alive and on top of the world. Somewhere along the way I lost myself Lucas. I have no clue who the hell I am anymore," she replied tearing up at the last part.

Lucas moved closer to her and put his arms around her. He gently rubbed her back as sultry tears poured from her deadpanned hazel eyes.

"I can't do this Lucas," she groaned pulling away from his embrace.

He stared at her blankly. Staring back at him was a broken and lonely 16 year old girl who seemed to have lost her way.

"Do what?"

"I know that you still have feelings for me or so you say and I can't be with you. You need to leave," she commanded pushing him towards the door.

"Brooke I do have feelings for you but I am here to be your friend. I know that you need a friend right now more than anything and I am going to prove to you that I can be your friend. I promise you that my feelings for you will not change anything."

Brooke nodded slowly. "Thank you Lucas. I'm sorry but I don't even know who I am anymore so until I find myself I will never be able to be with you like that again," she admits honestly.

Lucas smiled. "I know who you are Brooke Davis. You are beautiful and brilliant and brave. You are going to change the world someday and I'm not sure you even know it. That girl is in there somewhere, you just have to find her."

"Thank you Lucas," she whispered pulling him in for a hug. "I don't think I can do this without you."

"Well you don't have to because I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. I know that friends is all you can be right now and that's cool but I am going to fight for you this time, and I'm going to prove to you that I'm the guy for you and you're the girl for me," he smiled giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

"You have a nice night Brooke," he added before slipping out the door.

Brooke smiled to herself, touching her cheek where he had kissed her. Why the hell did he still give her butterflies? Lucas may be willing to help her but this wasn't going to be easy. When you've become so accustomed to a certain lifestyle it's hard to go back. She didn't want to give up her vices, because they were the only things that got her through each day.

* * *

"So how'd it go?" Rachel asked looking up from the TV as Lucas descended the stairs.

"Things are still complicating but it's getting better," he smiled.

"So are you two like an item yet?" she asked curiously.

Lucas chuckled. "Nope but hopefully we will be when all of this is over and she realizes that the old Brooke Davis we've all come to love is still there."

Rachel smiled. "Good."

"Rachel why do you want me and Brooke back together? I thought you hated me."

The question caught Rachel completely off guard. "Look I don't agree with what you did to her but I do know that you were also the best thing that happened to her. You make her happy Lucas and I do know that she still has feelings for you, feelings that aren't going to go away even if she won't admit to them," Rachel answered honestly.

"Really," Lucas grinned.

"Really."

Lucas was about to leave when Rachel's voice called out to him. "I wouldn't screw it up this time Luke. There are 2 things that she has always wanted from you. One is to fight for her and the other is to save her. She needs to be saved from herself right now so you have the perfect opportunity to do both. Just don't screw up this time."

Lucas sent a smile towards the redhead. "Thanks Rachel."

"No problem."

As he entered the night he reflected back on his life. Without Brooke in his life he would simply not be the man that he was today. She had greatly impacted his life, and always encouraged him to chase his dreams no matter how out of reach they seemed. It was a 2 way street though. He had showed her that there was more to life than partying, drinking, and hooking up with random guys. In return she had showed him that there was more to life than Peyton Sawyer.

* * *

_**AN: I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been super busy with homework and tests all week but I was in an eerily good mood today which has been rather unusual lately so I decided to write. I think this chapter turned out pretty good but I'm still torn between Nathan and Lucas. I keep changing back and forth between Nathan and Lucas. I'm going to close my poll after the next chapter because I've got this story pretty much outlined and I need to make a decision soon. Lyrics to the song are "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace. The next chapter is going to very crucial to the story. A character will make their big return to Tree Hill but I'm not saying any names! Also another sort of intervention thing will take place and I'm thinking of bringing in some Haley/Brooke because there has been so much Brachel. Next chapter will focus heavily on Brathan instead of Brucas. I figured I'd give a Brucas chapter and a Brathan chapter before the poll closes and the final decision is made. Please Review!**_


	9. Fight Inside

It's still the same  
Pursuing pain  
Isn't worth the light I've gained  
We both know how this will end  
But I do it again

Rachel was getting really upset with Brooke. She was making no progress, even after their little heart to heart. Brooke just didn't seem to care anymore, the life was completely drained out of her. Glistening hazel eyes had been replaced with dull, lifeless irises and her dime sized dimples hadn't been seen in over a month. It was only natural that Rachel pitied Brooke but at the same time she hated the brunette for turning into such a monster.

The sound of a door slamming broke Rachel from her thoughts. "Brooke!" she yelled, hoping the brunette was alright. She'd locked herself in her room for a few hours claiming she was sleeping and Rachel did believe her because she'd been up crying most of the night.

Rachel was shocked when she discovered it was the front door slamming shut not Brooke's bedroom door. Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor and Rachel figured it was probably just Nathan or Lucas.

"Scott. Is that you?" she asked loudly, figuring it was either one of the Scott boys.

"Not quite," a sardonic voice replied, revealing a tall brunette woman that looked a lot like Brooke but older and with wrinkles. It must be the devil herself, Victoria Davis.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, shocked when she realized it wasn't her daughter but some slutty looking redhead girl she'd never met before.

"I could ask you the same thing," the redhead answered rudely, glaring at the older woman in front of her.

"I live here. But you don't," she smirked coldly, the venom practically dripping off her tongue.

"I do now. Since you decided that you're daughter wasn't that important I moved in to keep an eye on her. I'm Rachel by the way."

"Oh Brooke told me about you. I thought she hated you," Victoria sneered as she set her bags down on the kitchen floor.

"That was before we became friends. And why are you here anyways? You don't give 2 shits about Brooke."

"I got sick of Los Angeles so I decided to come visit my daughter for a few weeks. Is that such a crime?"

"For you it is."

"Where is Brooke anyways?" Victoria asked looking around the room.

"She's upstairs sleeping," the redhead replied hostilely.

"Oh well I think I'll go get myself settled in until she wakes up," Victoria announced, picking up her bags and exiting the room.

For Brooke Davis life was meaningless. It had absolutely no ounce of truth or meaning left in it. Sometimes she wondered why she was still breathing. Wouldn't it just be easier to be dead? She wouldn't have to go to school and face the same crap every single fucking day of her life. She also wouldn't have to deal with Rachel and Nathan always up her ass and Lucas trying to get back together with her. It would be so much simpler.

Sighing Brooke reached into the back of her closet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. It was the perfect thing to get life off her mind because it numbed everything and made life seem simple again.

She had heard the door close earlier and figured Rachel had probably left for a little while. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she popped the lid off and poured the substance down her throat, chugging a large portion of it. It burned and nearly made her vomit but nonetheless it worked. She felt dizzy and numb. A few more swigs and she wouldn't be able to feel anything. All the pain that had built up inside of her the last few weeks would be forgotten about, even if it was just for a little while.

Finally polishing off the bottle, she collapsed onto her bed, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She rolled over and her eyes caught a picture. It was of her, Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, Haley, Mouth, and Rachel. Some fucking friends she thought. Peyton was nothing more than a backstabbing bitch, Nathan had been so moody and distant lately, Mouth never came to see her anymore, and she was pretty sure she'd scared Haley away. Lucas was there for her but she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd disappointed him and besides his mistakes would never be erased or forgotten about and even Rachel had been getting on her nerves lately. It seemed that every time she drank Brooke seemed to hate everyone around her. Angrily she grabbed the picture and threw it, hard against the wall. Tears fell from her dead hazel eyes, causing mascara tracks to streak down her pale cheeks as shard of glass sprayed across the room.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Victoria questioned looking up from her spot on the couch.

Rachel nodded her head. "I should probably go check on her."

"No let me do it," the brunette woman replied getting up from the couch.

Rachel gave her a skeptical look. "Since when do you care about your daughter?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes and I need to make things right," Victoria answered genuinely but Rachel wasn't buying it. She narrowed her eyes at Victoria but didn't object. She had to let them work it out.

Letting out a deep breath, Victoria pulled her daughter's bedroom door open. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy. On the other side of the door Brooke was laying face down on her bed, clutching a bottle of whiskey. A picture with a few of Brooke's friends in it and shards of broken glass rested at her side.

Victoria let out a small gasp at the sight in front of her. She knew it would be bad but this bad? She had no idea. Brooke lifted her head once she heard the door open. She was expecting Rachel but spotting her bitch of a mother instead literally put her body in shock.

"Victoria," she whispered, her eyes clouding with rage.

"Brooke. What happened?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came back to visit for a few days. I had no idea things were this bad," she responded softly, her eyes scanning the room.

"You have no fucking idea," Brooke laughed bitterly.

Hesitantly Victoria sat herself on the edge of Brooke's bed. "What happened to you Brooke?" she asked sympathetically, the tone in her voice scaring Brooke. She'd never heard her mom sound so sincere.

"Life. That's what happened," the younger brunette answered, the words slurring a little as she spoke.

"Brooke are you drunk?"

Brooke didn't say anything. "Why Brooke? Why? You were always so bubbly. I never pictured this happening to you but I guess it's in the genes."

"What do you mean it's in the genes?" the broken brunette asked, her cold and lifeless eyes practically burning a hole through the older brunette's deep brown eyes.

Victoria sighed. "When I was about your age I was hospitalized for the same thing. I was heavily addicted to drugs and self infliction. I was this terrible monster and I grew to hate who I'd become."

"That explains so much. Looks like you never really did change," Brooke responded coldly, anger burning in her hazel eyes.

"You're right I didn't change but I should've. I took my anger out on you and it was wrong. Brooke, you and I have very similar lives. You just don't realize it."

"What the hell do you mean we have similar lives? I will never be like you."

"I had everything going for me when I was your age but the pressure eventually got to me and I cracked. I hated the person I'd become and then I found out I was pregnant with you and eventually I watched my dreams disintegrate in front of my very own eyes. I always blamed you for taking my dreams away from me but I was wrong Brooke. It was never you're fault. I was trapped in a terrible marriage with a man I didn't love and I became even more miserable as a result of that. I love you Brooke, I just don't know how to show it because I was never loved as a child."

"Mom you can't come waltzing back into my life after practically ignoring me for 17 years. It isn't fair. I don't care if your parents never loved you. It should've given you the incentive to become what your parents weren't!" Brooke screamed, her skin turning a deep shade of red as the anger spilled out of her.

"I'm sorry Brooke," she replied sadly, tears trickling down her cheeks. This was the first time Brooke had ever seen her mother cry. She thought the damn woman had no fucking emotions whatsoever.

"It doesn't erase what you and my father put me through."

"We're getting a divorce," Victoria blurted out suddenly and Brooke stared at her mother in astonishment.

"A divorce? That's rich. I haven't heard that one before," Brooke laughed sarcastically as she tried to gain her composure.

"It's for real this time Brooke. I've already filed the papers and moved out of the house. I was going to buy one in Los Angeles but I think I'm going to stay here until you graduate."

"Why are you staying here? I thought you hated Tree Hill."

"I do but you need my help Brooke. I know that you have friends and by the looks of it Rachel has been a huge help but I know what you've been through Brooke. I've experienced it firsthand and I want to help you get better," the older brunette replied with a small smile.

"I don't need your help. I'm doing just fine and besides you never gave a shit about me before so why would you even care?"

"I know it's going to take a lot for you to forgive me but I'm not giving up this time Brooke. You're my daughter and although I may have a crappy way of showing it I love you," Victoria said, grabbing Brooke's wrist.

"OUCH!" Brooke winced in pain, pulling her arm away from her mother's grasp.

"What's wrong?" she questioned as the younger brunette clutched her throbbing wrist.

"Nothing," Brooke glared at her mother but Victoria wasn't buying it.

"Let me see your wrist," she demanded, reaching for her stubborn daughter's arm.

Brooke yanked it away and grumbled an incoherent, "fuck off."

However, Victoria was quicker. She peeled back the sleeve of Brooke's sweater, revealing a horrifying lacerated wrist. The deep scars ran along her lower arm, all carved in a perfect line.

A gasp escaped the older brunette's lips as she ran her fingertips along the self-inflicted wounds.

"Oh my god," she whispered as tears fell from her eyes. How could this be happening to Brooke? She was such a cheery and positive girl. Instantly Victoria felt guilty. It was all her fault Brooke's life had turned out the way it did.

"I hate myself," Brooke whispered sadly, breaking Victoria from her previous train of thought.

A multitude of sultry tears rolled down her soft cheeks, dampening her flawless skin and her petite body trembled violently with every sob.

Reaching out for her broken daughter, Victoria did something she'd never done in her life. She wrapped her arms around Brooke and held her close, rubbing her back in a comforting manner.

"It's gonna be okay Brooke. You're not alone. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere. I promise," she whispered to the shaking brunette in her arms.

"Thank you mom," Brooke smiled, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she pulled out of her embrace.

"I think you need some sleep," Victoria grinned, getting up from the bed.

Brooke frowned motioning towards the shards of broken glass on her bed, "I can't sleep in here."

"You can take my bed and I'll sleep in the other guest room."

* * *

_**And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins  
And it's raging  
The fight inside is hurting me again  
And it finds me  
The war within me pulls me under  
And without you  
The fight inside is breaking me again**_

Brooke woke up the next morning with a raging hangover. Her head was pounding and it felt like she'd been hit by a freight train. Clumsily, she scrambled out of bed, her feet hitting the hardwood floor and she had to grip onto the edge of the bed in order to stand up straight. The flashing neon lights on the alarm clock blinked 11:23 AM. At least she'd had a good night's sleep and the alcohol had put her out like a light.

Dragging her feet towards the bathroom Brooke stopped in front of the mirror and stared. She looked like a broken mess. Her long brunette tresses were tangled and sticking up in every direction. Her tearstained hazel eyes were red and bloodshot and deep creases from her pillow lined her pale forehead. Her complexion was much paler than usual and she looked white as a ghost. Dark circles gathered underneath her eyes despite the long sleep she'd had.

Brooke splashed her face with cold water and ran a brush through her disheveled hair. She still looked like hell. She drug her tired body down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she spotted her mother sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper spread out in front of her.

"Where's Rachel?" Brooke asked groggily, taking a seat across from Victoria.

"She's out with Bevin. She was going to wake you but I told her that you had a hard night and it would be best to let you sleep."

Brooke nodded and got up to fix herself a cup of coffee. "Do you have any painkillers?"

Victoria looked up from her newspaper. "There should be some in the medicine cupboard."

Brooke shook her head and opened the vacant medicine cabinet to show her mother that there was nothing left. "Rachel disposed of them all."

Victoria rummaged around in her purse. "Here," she smiled handing Brooke 2 aspirins.

"Thanks," Brooke mumbled swallowing the 2 pills with her coffee.

"Any plans for today?" Victoria asked closing her newspaper.

"I was going to go over to Nathan's house and talk. We haven't spoken in a few days so I thought I'd smooth things over with him."

"Sure. Do you think maybe you'd be up for some shopping with me later?" Victoria asked as Brooke got up to put her empty coffee cup in the sink.

Brooke gave her mother a small smile. "You've never taken me shopping before."

"Well I know you're a big time shopaholic so it was just an idea. It might take your mind off things."

"It's just weird that you want to take me shopping. The most time we've spent together was in the maternity ward."

"I'm trying here Brooke. If you don't want to go I understand," Victoria answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"No I think I'll go. It could be fun. I won't stay at Nathan's too long then we can go when I get back."

Victoria nodded and Brooke left to get ready. She knew that going to Nathan's might be risky but she needed to confront him. He had been her rock through all of this and losing him was resulting in her slipping even further down.

* * *

"NATHAN ROYAL SCOTT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" the feisty brunette yelled, pounding her fist aggressively on the Scott's front door.

"Brooke you're going to knock my fucking door down if you keep pounding on it like that," a masculine voice chuckled and Brooke looked up to see Nathan leaning out his bedroom window.

"Doesn't anybody in Tree Hill answer their door anymore?" she questioned her brunette friend jokingly.

Nathan laughed, "Some do. I don't."

"I actually just got out of the shower and I was met with your excessive pounding and screaming."

"Aren't you going to come let me in?" she asked motioning towards the locked front door.

"Sure. Just give me a minute to throw some pants on," he laughed, shutting the window.

Brooke waited patiently on the Scott's doorstep and sure enough about a minute later Nathan threw the front door open. He stood before her, clad in jeans and a white t-shirt, a crooked grin on his face.

"It's been a while Davis. I thought you were mad at me or something," he smiled, ushering the brunette inside.

"I've just been busy. I thought you were still upset over the little intervention failure and me almost breaking Rachel's nose," she chuckled following Nathan over to the leather couch.

"Want something to drink?" he asked as she plopped down stomach first on the couch.

She shook her head. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay Nate."

"I'm fine Brooke. But how about you? How are you holding up?" he asked, concern flashing in his icy blue eyes.

"She's back Nate."

"Whose back?" the basketball star asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Victoria."

"Brooke I'm so sorry. For how long?"

"She says until I graduate."

"You poor thing. If you want to stay here in the meantime, we've got plenty of extra room and I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind," he offered, putting his arm around the brunette.

"Actually Victoria is being really nice. She even offered to take me shopping and she cried last night when she saw me. I've never seen my mother cry in the 17 years I've known her."

"Brooke you can't just forgive her after everything she has put you through. She's probably just faking the whole thing. Victoria is a cold and heartless bitch. She will never change," Nathan yelled looking at Brooke in disbelief. How could she just let this go and act as if nothing had happened? It was Victoria's fault Brooke was even like this in the first place. If she'd only loved her daughter and not put enormous pressures on her, he had a feeling none of this would've happened. At least not to the extremes it had anyways.

"Nathan you don't understand. When Victoria was 16 she went through the same shit as me. I know it's weird that I'm letting my mother in but she understands what I'm going through. She's the only one that knows what it's like to be on my end of things," Brooke defended her mother, breaking Nathan out of his side thoughts.

"I know that the only thing you've ever wanted from this world is for your mother to love you Brooke. I just don't get how you can forgive her so quickly. She should have to work for your trust."

"I don't know why but somehow I felt a connection with her last night. I felt something I'd never felt before. I actually felt like I had a mother who loved me and maybe she was pretending. I guess I don't know for sure but what I do know is that I need her to help me get through this."

"Okay Brooke I'm going to support your decision. I don't like her and I find her to be extremely fake but if this is what you want then I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise. We've done enough fighting and I want you to get better even if that means accepting the choices I don't approve of."

"Thank you Nathan. It means a lot to me that you are going to be there for me. What the hell would I do without?" she laughed throwing her arms around the muscular athlete.

"It's good to see you smiling again Brooke. I just hope it lasts this time," he grinned pulling out of her tight embrace.

"Honestly I don't know if it will Nathan. I've just been so confused lately. My mood can change in the blink of an eye. I transform back and forth between a girl with traces of the old Brooke and a terrible monster."

"I have faith in you Brooke. It might take some time but that girl is still there. The beautiful, confident cheerleader that has the ability to brighten anyone's day with her gorgeous smile is still there beneath the misery."

"I have to go. I promised Victoria that I would meet her at the mall but thanks for talking to me Nathan. I just needed someone to vent to," Brooke smiled, pulling herself up from the couch.

"No problem Brookie. Anytime you need someone to vent to just remember that I'm here. Now go have fun with your mom," he said, pulling the door open for Brooke. God it felt weird saying that last part. It would definitely take some getting used to.

He watched the beautifully broken brunette disappear from his line of view. A small smile crept across his face as he reflected back on the life lessons she had taught him. She had showed him that rushing into a relationship with Haley was hasty. Without Brooke he would've never realized that maybe Haley wasn't the one for him. It had never occurred to him until just a few months ago that maybe Brooke was the one for him. He would always love Haley but a part of him would always love Brooke too. They were simply such different people. Haley had an amazing heart and would do anything to help anyone but she was so shy and quiet. She was smart and she wasn't into the same social scene that Nathan was. She came from a large loving family and didn't understand what it felt like to lack a parent's love. Brooke however was gorgeous from the outside in. She was confident, amazing, and also had a big heart. She was very misunderstood and she came from a broken family too. Nathan and Brooke's lives had collided several years ago when he began dating her best friend Peyton. A drunken mistake that had never been spoken of in the 4 years between had fuelled tension between the two of them. He and Brooke had never been close until he broke up with Peyton and started dating Haley. Now he was blessed to have known the brunette and to have her in his life. Besides Haley she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

* * *

_**It's nothing  
(It's everything)**_

_**It's breaking me!**_

_**I'm falling apart!**_

Victoria and Brooke had been walking around the mall for a few hours when Brooke spotted Haley.

"Haley!" Brooke called out excitedly, waving towards her friend.

"Brooke!" Haley squealed jumping into her friends arms.

Her gaze travelled to the woman beside Brooke. "Victoria," she smiled sticking her hand out.

Hesitantly Haley shook it. "Haley James."

"Brooke told me about you. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Haley managed a small smile.

"You're much nicer than Brooke's other friends. No offense Brooke."

"None taken," Brooke rolled her eyes and Haley just laughed.

"Mom, do you mind if I talk with Haley for a bit?" Brooke asked, putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

"Sure. I'll meet you back here in say 20 minutes?" her mother suggested handing Brooke some money.

"Sounds good," Brooke smiled linking her arm through Haley's.

"Let's go have some lunch so we can have a talk," Brooke suggested pulling her friend towards the food court.

"Looks like I don't have a choice do I?"

The two friends ordered their food and met up at the same table they always sat at when they had lunch together.

"Spill it Penelope," Haley ordered, stealing a french fry from Brooke's plate.

Brooke swatted at Haley's hand. "Get away from my fries."

Haley stared at Brooke seriously, demanding an answer.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the darker brunette answered innocently, popping a fry into her mouth.

"Victoria. That's what I'm talking about. Since when do you go shopping with your mom? Since when does your mom even live here?"

"She moved back until I graduate. Apparently they're getting a divorce. It's actually been filed this time."

"I'm so sorry Brooke."

"Oh I'm not upset about it. I've been waiting for them to actually go through with it. They were both miserable and I do feel it was the right move on both of their parts," Brooke laughed waving her friend off.

"Since when are you and Victoria buddies? From what I've heard you hate her and vice versa."

"She understands what I'm going through and she's going to help me. I just want my mother to love me and now that I have the chance I'm not letting go of it."

"Speaking of you how have you been doing lately? I'm sorry about the drama with you and Lucas," the brunette asked, giving Brooke a sympathetic smile.

"Its okay, Luke and I are friends now. Everything's good between us but as for me its bad Haley. Really bad. I've become this terrible person and I hate it," Brooke admitted, biting back the tears that wanted so desperately to fall.

"The old you is still there Brooke and I'm sorry for not being around as much as I should but I promise to be here from now on. I guess I've just been caught up with my own problems and trying to get over Nathan that I forgot you were having problems," Haley confessed, placing her hand on top of Brooke's.

"You're not over Nathan yet?" Brooke asked curiously, staring at her friend in amazement. It had been over a year now and she was sure that Haley had moved on by now.

"No, I'm not. Every single day I regret leaving him to go on tour. It was the dumbest thing I've ever done."

"Haley you're not dumb. You put your dreams first. I think your biggest mistake if anything was marrying Nathan so young. I mean I know you had morals and what not but if you'd just dated Nathan instead of marrying him things might've been easier."

"I think you're right Brooke. It just sucks that I made such careless choices and now I have to pay for them."

"I know what you mean," Brooke chuckled, glancing at her cell phone.

"Shit Hales, I have to go meet my mom but I'll text you later and maybe we can hang out again sometime?" Brooke suggested, pulling her friend in for a hug.

"For sure," Haley smiled, letting go of Brooke.

"I'll see you around Brooke."

"Thanks Haley. I really missed having you around," Brooke smiled as she waved goodbye to her friend.

"I missed you to Brookie."

On the outside it may seem that Brooke was finally recovering but on the inside she was breaking. She couldn't expose her weaknesses to the people she loved, mostly because she was ashamed. Ashamed of the way her life was turning out and ashamed of the person she's become. She was at war with herself and she was losing the battle. Her silent cry for help wasn't being answered. Brooke Davis was a stubborn girl and she needed help but she wouldn't ask for it because she wanted to be strong. She wanted to do this by herself. This was her life now and if she was ever going to heal these wounds it was something that she needed to do alone.

* * *

AN: Officially the longest chapter I've ever written. Sorry it took so long, I just decided to cram so much in it. Song is Fight inside by Red. I decided to save the intervention thingy until next chapter. Also I think Karen/Brooke are going to have a little chat next chapter. I'm closing the poll after this chapter so get in your votes while you can. Please Review!


	10. Save You

_****_

Take a breath  
I pull myself together  
Just another step till I reach the door  
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you  
I wish that I could tell you something  
To take it all away

A few days had passed since Victoria's big return to Tree Hill and things had been going great. She and Brooke had spent some time bonding and Victoria was actually acting like a mother. It was weird at first but Brooke was starting to get used to it. Letting people in was still hard for her. She kept her heart guarded and talking to people about her condition was not a topic she liked to address.

"Okay, goodbye Brooke. Yes I'll call you later I promise," Nathan spoke into the phone as the doorbell rang. "Someone's at the door so I really have to go this time. Goodbye."

Hanging up the phone he pulled the door open, revealing his ex-wife Haley James. She gave him a timid smile as she stood awkwardly on the doorstep, shifting her feet.

"Haley. What are you doing here?" he hissed, sort of upset that she had come to his house. Of course he still loved Haley but he wasn't sure if things could ever be the same between them again, especially with Brooke in the picture now.

"I'm sorry. If you don't want me here I'll just go," she mumbled sadly, turning her back on him and retreating down the steps.

Nathan sighed. "Haley wait!"

When she turned around he offered her a small smile. "Come in."

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked, trying his best to be polite.

"I'll just have water," she smiled settling down on the Scott's couch.

"One water coming up," he grinned retreating into the kitchen to grab her beverage.

When he returned he sat on the chair opposite the couch and handed Haley her water. "So what did you come here for?"

"It's Brooke. I'm worried about her," Haley replied, sipping her water.

"Alright but why did you come to me? I mean why not Lucas or Rachel?" he asked curiously, his eyes meeting her worried brown ones.

"Because you and Brooke seem close and I know that you get through to her better than anyone else," Haley shrugged.

Nathan nodded, "Fair enough but what's got you so worried about her?"

"I had lunch with her the other day and she seemed so upset with herself and how her life is. I just feel bad for her. This isn't the Brooke we know and love. I was hoping you could talk to her and try to lighten her up a bit."

"I've tried Haley but I don't think she's going to change anytime soon. She's a completely different person now. I wish it was that easy but it's not," Nathan replied sadly, putting a comforting hand on Haley's knee.

"I just wish there was something we could do for her," Haley responded thoughtfully, racking her brain for ideas.

"There is one thing," Nathan grinned. "We could stage an intervention."

"No offense Nathan but didn't you and Rachel already do that?" Haley chuckled lightly and Nathan nodded his head.

"We did and it resulted in Rachel almost getting a broken nose but I think if we get Victoria to help us it might work this time."

"I guess so. I'm not really good at intervening with people though. I think just you, Rachel, and Victoria should do it. Just let me know how it turns out," Haley smiled, glad that Nathan was willing to at least do something helpful for Brooke.

Nathan nodded. "Of course I will keep you posted. Thanks for talking to me Hales."

"No problem. You're such a great friend to Brooke."

"I could be a great friend to you too Haley," Nathan whispered quietly, his gaze meeting hers.

But I don't wanna be your friend Haley thought. I wanna be more. "I'd like that," she smiled pulling him in for a hug. Being his friend would have to be good enough for now.

* * *

"Nathan," Victoria smiled as she spotted Rachel and the brunette boy walk into the living room.

"Hey Mrs. Davis," Nathan offered her a small smile, trying to be polite when really he wanted to smack the woman upside the head.

"It's Miss. Richard and I are divorced now. Besides you can call me Victoria."

"Right," he replied awkwardly, trying to get comfortable in the chair he was now occupying.

"So why are you two here?" Victoria asked eyeing the two teenagers suspiciously.

"It's about Brooke," Nathan responded, looking to Rachel for support.

"We feel that Brooke needs a little family intervention. Nathan and I want you to team up with us to give Brooke a little pep talk," Rachel finished for him.

"Sure. I suppose I can do that but why do you want my help?" Victoria asked curiously, knowing that neither Rachel nor Nathan were very fond of her.

"Because you understand what she is going through and as much as I object to it you are a part of her life now," Nathan answered.

"Sure. I am more than willing to help," Victoria grinned as the 3 began to plan their intervention.

* * *

"Mother, I need to talk to you!" Lucas hollered as he shut the front door behind him.

"In the kitchen honey!" Karen's voice called.

Karen dropped her dishrag in the sink when she heard Lucas enter the kitchen. "What's wrong?" she asked sincerely, sitting down next to Lucas at the kitchen table.

"It's Brooke mom. I'm worried about her," Lucas sighed. Karen knew about Brooke's little suicide attempt but she did not know about her major relapse, Lucas still being in love with her, or Nathan deciding he loved her as well.

"Why? I thought she was making great progress."

"She was but some things happened and it's bad mom. Really bad. I don't feel like it's my place to tell you but I was hoping maybe you could talk to her and she might open up to you."

"How about you Luke? How are you dealing with all of this?" Karen asked quietly.

"I don't know mom. I still love her obviously but I don't think she'll ever forgive me. I screwed it up pretty bad."

"If you still love her Luke you need to tell her!" Karen exclaimed shaking her head at her son.

"I did. She just turned away from me. She needs a friend right now and that's what I need to be. Besides I might have some competition now," Lucas replied, looking down at his feet.

"Competition?"

"Yeah my brother."

Karen nearly choked on her coffee. "Nathan?"

"Well I think Nathan's my only brother," Lucas teased. "But yeah, Nathan is the competition."

"How? What about him and Haley? God my head hurts this is so confusing," Karen laughed lightly, her eyes demanding an answer from Lucas.

"He's over Haley now. Or so he says anyways. He told me somewhere along the way he fell in love with Brooke."

"So that's why you 2 have been so distant lately," Karen concluded, shaking her head at the craziness of the situation.

Lucas nodded. "Yeah he barely talks to me anymore."

"Does Brooke know about Nathan being in love with her?" Karen asked curiously and Lucas shook his head.

"No."

"Well I'd say you've gotten yourself into one messy situation son. But I'm sure it'll work itself out," Karen smiled getting up from her seat.

"I've got to get to the Café but I'll see you later tonight," Karen told Lucas as she grabbed her coat and purse from the chair.

"Don't worry Lucas, just give it some time. I'll talk to Brooke tomorrow and see how things go," Karen smiled, resting her hand on her sons shoulder.

"Thanks Ma."

"No problem," the older brunette smiled, giving her son a kiss on the cheek before leaving for her Café.

* * *

_**Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I won't give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know**_

Staring at herself in the mirror was almost painful. Brooke saw a mere shadow of the person she used to be. Her eyes were dark and cold, and a smile did not grace her lips, she looked dead. The cheery dimples, the glowing hazel eyes, both of which resembled a happy healthy girl, were still there underneath the pain. A single slipped from the lifeless eyes, more of them threatening to fall. Why had she chosen this life? Why was it so hard to turn around? Millions of questions raced through the brunette's mind as she gripped the edge of the bathroom sink, trying to hold on with everything that she had left of her. The basin of the sink caught the fresh tears as they poured from her eyes in a rapid pace, bleeding chunks of mascara. As she let go, her body sunk onto the floor, slouching against the bathroom counter. Her body trembled violently as the sobs took over her body. It was too late now nobody could hear her cry for help.

"Brookie," a soft voice called, breaking the brunette from her tremor. Shit, she'd forgotten that Nathan was coming over today. Nathan poked his brunette head in the bathroom and nearly broke down when he saw Brooke slouched against the bathroom counter with her head in her hands, her body shaking like crazy. Brooke looked up and her dead eyes met Nathan's teary blue ones. "Brooke," he whispered slowly, not being able to tear his gaze off the broken brunette in front of him. Rachel and Victoria stood behind Nathan, both of their faces painted with shock.

Nathan crouched down next to Brooke and gathered her in his arms, stroking her back as she cried painfully, soaking his shirt. Using his hands he motioned for Brooke and Victoria to come. Rachel nodded and took a step forward, bending down to collect both Brooke and Nathan in her arms as well. Victoria followed suit, wrapping her arms around the 3 teenagers. Together the 4 of them let the tears they had been longing to hold back pour from their eyes as they held onto one another.

After a few moments Nathan broke the silence as he pulled away from the group embrace. "What happened?" his voice croaked as he stared Brooke in the eyes.

"I don't know," she mumbled. "I was trying to hold on and eventually I just let go."

Rachel gave her a funny look. "What do you mean you let go?"

"Of life!" Brooke cried out, a fresh batch of tears sliding down her pale cheeks.

"Brooke it's okay. We're here for you. All three of us and we're not going to let you down," Victoria whispered softly, pulling Brooke into her arms. "We want to save you but you have to let us."

"How can I let you save me if I can't even save myself?" she whispered quietly, looking down at her feet.

"Brooke. Listen to me." Nathan stated seriously, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. "You are trying to do this all by yourself but it is not something that you can do alone. You're running in endless circles and you need us to help you get through this. You are incredibly strong Brooke Davis but there is no way in hell that you can do this by yourself. It's just not possible."

"Brooke. Do Lucas and Peyton have anything to do with this? With you struggling to get better?" Rachel asked suddenly, startling the brunette.

"Yes. They do," she whispered quietly. "But not together."

Rachel gave her a skeptical look. "What do you mean not together?"

"I mean it doesn't have to do with them together. It has to do with them separately."

"How so?" Victoria cut in this time.

Brooke sighed. "I'm so confused about my feelings for Lucas. He tells me that he still loves me and wants to be with me but I have no clue how I feel about him anymore. In all honesty I don't think I'll ever stop loving Lucas but I gave him my everything and he ripped my entire world apart. I can forgive him for what he's done but I will never forget and I don't know if I will ever trust him again. As for Peyton, she is nothing more than a backstabbing bitch. She cares more about herself and trying to win Lucas's heart than she does about me. I mean at least Lucas has been here for me through all of this but where has Peyton been? She's been chasing after Lucas, trying to win a battle that she is never going to."

"So you don't think that Lucas is in love with Peyton and that he loves you with all of his heart?" Rachel questioned, still trying to process all of what Brooke had just said.

"I have no doubt in my mind that Lucas still loves me. He has made it very clear that he is over Peyton but I don't know if I can trust him. He has fought for me like I always wanted but he's too late this time."

Nathan smiled at the last part. Maybe there was still hope for him and Brooke after all. But did he really want to be second best? Did he really want to be just Brooke's rebound? He wasn't sure if he could handle being with someone knowing that they were still in love with someone else.

"I need some space," Brooke mumbled, getting up from the bathroom floor.

Three curious faces looked at her. "What?" Victoria questioned, also pulling herself up from the floor.

"This talk has opened up a lot of things for me and I need some time to think about them," she responded shrugging her shoulders.

Nathan nodded his head. "Sure but if you need to talk with anyone, you know that the three of us are here and we're all willing to help you."

"Thanks guys. I don't know what I would do without you," Brooke smiled lightly, throwing her arms around her 2 best friends and her mother.

As he exited Brooke's room Nathan let out a defeated sigh. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this secret from Brooke. He was pretty sure that things were only going to get messier if he kept it bottled up inside for any longer. She deserved to know.

* * *

AN: I'm so sorry for the long update but my computer is finally up and running! The poll is finished and the results are up! I'm not going to give away the endgame yet because that would ruin the story but Brooke is going to choose soon. And I will add that the poll was very close! The winner only won by one vote. Anyways the song is Save You by Simple Plan and next chapter is going to be Karen/Brooke having a talk and some Breyton and Brucas scenes as well. The story is about half over so I'm hoping the next few updates will be quick. Please review and let me know what you think!


	11. Dear Agony

_**I have nothing left to give  
I have found the perfect end  
You were made to make it hurt  
Disappear into the dirt  
Carry me to heaven's arms  
Light the way and let me go  
Take the time to take my breath  
I will end where I began**_

A small sigh escaped the lips of Brooke Davis as she ran her finger along a single picture. It was of her and Peyton on Peyton's 15th birthday. The two girls looked so happy, their arms wrapped around each other, huge smiles planted on both of their faces as they made goofy faces at the camera. Brooke could still remember that day like it was yesterday but somehow it seemed like that was a lifetime ago. She no longer had Peyton to run to when something was wrong. She had no one to spend all night crying with when things got rough. They had been so through so much together and always pulled each other through. When Peyton's mother died Brooke was there for her, and when Brooke's parents decided to move halfway across the country Peyton was there for her. Peyton was the only one that had ever truly understood how much her parents neglecting her had eaten her up inside. Peyton was like a sister to her and they were destined to overcome anything that got in the way of their friendship. However, there was one obstacle that they could not overcome. That one single obstacle had torn the most beautiful friendship either of them had ever experienced apart, shattering it into a million pieces. That obstacle went by the name of Lucas Scott. Brooke was so glad that she had Lucas in her life and now that he was in it she couldn't imagine it without him but it still hurt that he had been the one to ruin her and Peyton's friendship. Looking at that single photograph made Brooke wish that she could go back in time to that day when they were 15. Back to when life was so much simpler and she didn't have to worry about a boy ruining her friendship with Peyton. Back to when she didn't have to hate herself and wish that she wasn't alive anymore. Brooke placed her perfectly manicured fingertips at the top of the photograph and tore it right down the middle. A single tear fell onto the picture as it split in half, resembling a broken friendship. Life really was a bitch.

Little did Brooke know on the opposite side of town the same thing was happening. Peyton Sawyer was browsing through some old pictures on her computer when she came across one of her and Brooke when they were only 15 years old. A small smile played on her lips as she stared at the picture with regret. Brooke was her best friend, her sister, the girl that had given her so much strength and she had ruined it. It wasn't until Lucas had come into the picture that their relationship had faltered. Lucas drove a wedge between the two friends and her stupid mistakes had caused a barrier in her and Brooke's friendship. She couldn't blame Lucas for ruining her friendship with Brooke because it takes two to cheat but Peyton knows that if Lucas had never came into their lives they would still be those smiling 15 year old girls from 3 years ago. Falling in love with Lucas Scott was the biggest mistake of her life because it had ruined her life and had ruined her best friend's life. Giving up on Lucas had been hard but Peyton knew that she could never be Brooke and she could never take Brooke's place in Lucas's heart. She was fighting a battle she was destined to lose because people that are meant to be together always find their way in the end. One last look at the picture was all it took for Peyton to realize that she had to do something. She had to make things right with Brooke.

* * *

_**Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
till we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the click  
but the party don't stop**_

A horrible rendition of Ke$ha's hit song Tik Tok screeched from the other side of the door, causing a smile to grace Peyton Sawyer's lips. That was so like Brooke.

She cringed as the brunette hit a high note, a piercing sound echoing through the walls of Brooke's bedroom.

Peyton finally found the courage to lift her hand and twist the doorknob. She let out a small chuckle at the sight of Brooke lying on her bed, screeching the song.

"I see your vocals haven't gotten any better Davis," she smirked, receiving a glare in return.

"You're one to talk. If I remember correctly you did not do the foo fighters any justice," Brooke grumbled, getting up off her bed. "Who let you in here anyways?"

"I just let myself in. Nobody was home and I see you still don't lock your door," the blonde shrugged as if it were no big deal.

"Well if you can just let yourself in then why don't you just let yourself out?" Brooke suggested, jerking her thumb towards the door.

"Brooke. We need to talk," Peyton sighed, running a hand through her mess of blonde curls.

"No we don't. If I remember correctly I told you that this friendship was over and that you were dead to me," the brunette roared anger raging in her cold hazel eyes.

"Peyton do not think for a second that you can just come waltzing back into my life and expect everything to be fine again because they're not. Things are never going to be fine again."

"Well you forgave Lucas so why can't you forgive me?"

"That is different and you know it! Peyton, Lucas has been here for me when I needed him the most. Where the hell have you been? Oh, that's right you were chasing after Lucas instead of trying to fix our friendship!" the brunette shouted heatedly.

Peyton hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry Brooke. I was selfish and I've made a countless number of mistakes but I miss you more than anything. No boy is worth losing you over."

"My life is a living hell Peyton and you weren't there for me when I needed you the most. I needed my best friend to help me get through the mess my life had become but she was busy chasing after the same boy that ruined our friendship to begin with. How the hell do you think that feels?

"What's going on with you Brooke? I knew you were having troubles but what the hell has been going on? I thought you'd recovered."

"I did for a while but eventually I cracked and I lost myself," the brunette answered quietly, peeling back her sleeve to reveal a gruesomely lacerated wrist.

Peyton gasped in astonishment as her green eyes widened in terror. "Brooke…" she croaked, reaching out to run her fingers along the broken brunette's self inflicted lower arm.

"I did this to you. It's all my fucking fault Brooke!" she cried out as she let go of Brooke's wrist.

"No Peyton you didn't do this to me. Life did this to me. Maybe you helped but I would've done it anyways. I always act strong Peyton but I'm not and it's about time the world saw that."

"Brooke I want to be in your life again. Please just let me!" Peyton pleaded, tears gathering in her pale green eyes. She wanted to help Brooke get her life back on track.

Brooke shook her head stubbornly. "You lost the right to be in my life a long time ago."

"Brooke…"

"Peyton just leave! I told you this friendship is over. You are dead to me Peyton. You have been for a long time now. Just go!" Brooke yelled harshly, the coldness in her eyes warning Peyton that she was being dead serious.

Peyton nodded her head slowly. "You're my best friend Brooke. Don't ever forget that and just so you know I am here for you whenever you need me. If it gets too tough, I'll be there to fall back on. I will never let anything ruin our friendship again because it is not worth it. Not even Lucas Scott is worth it," she smiled before turning to walk away from Brooke.

"You have a nice life Brooke. I hope things get better for you."

The minute she heard the door close, Brooke broke down. She slunk against the wall, tears cascading from her distressed hazel eyes. She wanted to forgive Peyton so badly but she couldn't. She wasn't sure if she ever would. When the fuck had life become so complicating?

* * *

_**Suddenly  
The lights go out  
Let forever  
Drag me down  
I will fight for one last breath  
I will fight until the end**_

Brooke sat in a booth at Karen's Café waiting for Lucas to come. She glanced at her watch, he was 10 minutes late. That was so unlike Lucas, he was never late for anything. She pulled out her cell phone to call him when she saw Karen approaching her.

"Hey Brooke," she smiled graciously, sitting down next to the younger brunette.

"Hey Karen, do you know where Lucas is? He was supposed to meet me here 10 minutes ago."

"Actually no he wasn't. He just wanted you to come down here and talk to me," Karen smiled placing her hand on top of Brooke's.

"That bastard," Brooke grumbled. "I don't need to talk to anyone."

"Brooke what is going with you? Lucas told me that things were bad but it wasn't his place to tell me so he was hoping I could talk to you. Maybe help you out a bit."

"I don't need any help. I'm doing just fine," Brooke argued, tapping her foot against the floor impatiently. The truth was she didn't want Karen to see how weak she was. She knew that Karen viewed her as a strong and independent woman like herself not as a weak and vulnerable broken girl that had lost her way.

"Brooke please just talk to me. Tell me what is going on with you," Karen pleaded, noticing the broken look in Brooke's eyes. She didn't like this version of Brooke at all.

"I hate my life," Brooke surrendered, knowing there was no way Karen would give up.

"Why Brooke? Does it have to do with Lucas?"

Brooke shook her head. "It did at first but I got over that. Somehow life broke me down. I lost myself and I know longer know who I am. I just want to live again, to feel again."

"You don't have to do this to yourself Brooke. You need to get help with your condition. I don't know what happened to you Brooke but it's changed you. I just want to see the cheerful Brooke Davis, the girl that could brighten anyone's day with her dimpled smile and contagious laugh."

"That girl is gone Karen. I wish she wasn't but she is," Brooke sighed sadly, looking down at her feet. "Drugs, alcohol, cutting, they all help me get through the day. They are my only vices left and I've become so dependent on them. It's almost like I can't function without them."

"Have you considered getting professional help? You know like checking into rehab or something?" Karen questioned, looking at Brooke sympathetically.

Brooke nodded. "Yes I have but I don't want to. I don't need rehab because I know that I could quit anytime I wanted to. I just don't want to. Life is too hard and they make it easier."

"Honey, I know that life gets hard sometimes but you just need to put a smile on your face and keep a positive attitude. That can get you through each day too you know," Karen smiled sincerely.

"I want out Karen. I can't do this anymore. My life has absolutely no ounce of meaning left in it. There is no reason for me to wake up and do the things I love anymore," Brooke cried out, tears falling from her saddened hazel eyes.

Karen's motherly instincts kicked in and she wrapped her arms around the damaged brunette. "You're life does have meaning in it. You mean everything to me, and to Lucas, and Nathan and Rachel. We will always love you Brooke and I think sometimes you all give us some hope. I see the things you've been through at such a young age and I think if that girl can make it through life than so can the rest of us. You are such a strong girl Brooke and you've touched the lives of all of us even if you don't realize it."

"That's just it Karen. I'm not a strong girl. Everyone thinks I am but I'm not. I put on this act because I don't want people seeing my weakness. I want people to believe that I am strong so I pretend that I am!" Brooke cried, her body quivering from crying so hard.

"Brooke you are a strong girl. You must believe that. You are the strongest person I've ever met in my entire life. Your strength inspires me Brooke and I know that it is not an act. Nobody is invincible and you eventually cracked. Nobody can hold on forever," Karen encouraged, looking Brooke in the eye. "When I look at you I see this amazing beautiful, strong girl. You are going to do great things in your life Brooke. You just need some direction and you have lots of people willing to help you find your way. You just have to let them."

"Thank you Karen. That means everything to me," Brooke whispered quietly, embracing the older woman that she considered a second mother in her arms.

"That's what I'm here for," Karen chuckled as she rubbed Brooke's back soothingly in attempt to comfort the broken girl in front of her.

"How do you do it?" Brooke questioned her gaze meeting Karen's warm brown eyes.

"Do what?"

"Get through each day with such grace even after everything you've been through. I mean with having Lucas so young and being left alone to raise him by yourself, being tortured by Lucas's evil vindictive father, and losing Keith how do you do it?

Karen offered Brooke a small smile. "It's simple. I love Lucas and I wouldn't give him up for anything in the world. It was hard raising him alone but I wouldn't have it any other way. As for Dan I don't let him get to me. He made his choice and I'm not the one that has to regret it. He does. And I may have lost Keith but I know that he loved me and that he wouldn't want me to sit here and mourn about my loss. He would want me to move on with my life and find a new beginning. I think about how blessed I am to have all these wonderful things in my life and it gives me a reason to love my life."

"You are amazing you know that Karen?" Brooke grinned, clearly having been moved by Karen's speech.

"You're not bad yourself Brooke Davis. I just hope that you find your way soon because I miss you more than anything."

* * *

**Dear Agony  
Just let go of me  
Suffer slowly  
Is this the way it's got to be?  
Dear Agony**

"Hey Luke," a voice called, causing the blonde brooder to look up from his computer screen.

"Brooke!" he smiled enthusiastically, shutting his computer and rushing over to the brunette. He prayed to god that she wasn't mad at him for getting Karen to intervene.

"You're not mad are you?" he asked once she pulled away.

Brooke shook her head. "Talking with your mom really helped me. I think she should be a psychologist instead of a chef."

Lucas chuckled. "Well that's great Brooke. I hope things work out for you because you deserve to be happy again."

"I hope so Luke. I want to feel something again. I just want to be myself again."

"You will be because I have faith in you and so does everyone else. You're going to be amazing Brooke and you are going to continue to change lives because that is what you do best."

"Lucas you are amazing you do know that right?"

"I've been told," he chuckled, gazing into Brooke's eyes, hoping to see the life come back into them soon.

Nobody ever said that life was supposed to be easy because it isn't. Life is full of complications and twists and bumps in the road. Some people learn to swerve and others hit the bumps and it slows them down for a while and throws them off course, making them lose their way. That's what happened to Brooke Davis. She forgot to swerve and hit a major bump in life. But if we didn't hit those bumps what would be the point of life? There would be no point. Sometimes all it takes is one person to make you realize that those bumps are just minor setbacks. They are not the end. For Brooke Davis it took Karen Roe to help set her life back on track. Brooke was sick of torturing herself like this. She had the will to change, she just didn't want to but now it was time to hit the road and keep moving along. Her journey was nowhere near over. It had just begun.

* * *

**AN: The old Brooke Davis is coming back. It may be a slow start but its coming. Next chapter is going to be Brooke finally picking up the pieces and moving on with life once and for all. Within the next few chapters the final endgame will be announced and the lyrics are Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	12. Breaking The Habit

_**Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again**_

"I hate myself. I can't do this anymore."

The words echoed repeatedly in the back of Brooke's mind, as memories of the past few months came flooding back to her, replaying over and over in her head. There were 2 options right now. Either she could end this once and for all by taking the pain away. It was the simplest option because all she had to do was take herself out of this world, and then she wouldn't feel anything anymore. Everything that had been eating her up inside would be gone. The other option was to redeem herself and slowly become the girl she used to be, the girl she was meant to be.

Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, she caught a glimpse of a girl she used to know. She was beautiful, smart, talented, and nobody could bring her down because she was so full of life and love. Her hazel eyes shone brightly, and her smile illuminated the room. That was the girl she wanted to be.

She blinked and the image was gone. A different girl was staring back at her. This time it was a complete stranger, one she had come to know very well over the last few months. She was broken, lonely, lost, and full of spiteful hate. Her face was pale, her eyes showed no sign of emotion or life in them, and her stare was weak and cold. Everything about this girl screamed pain and hate. She was not the person Brooke wanted to be.

Tears fell from the brunette's eyes at the speed of a bullet. Was her life really worth living anymore? Was there any point in changing? This she had no clue. She was stuck at a crossroads. She couldn't live like this anymore. It was either become the girl she used to be or die. Right now she felt dead on the inside, like her body had stopped breathing long ago. All she had to do was make one simple choice, one simple choice that was going to determine her fate.

* * *

_**Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than any time before  
I had no options left again**_

The brunette bustled around her room, gathering stuff up. All of which were a reminder of her horrific past. A few dissected razor blades, bottles of alcohol, pills, joints, cigarettes, anything that she had used to numb the pain were now discarded into a garbage bag in the centre of her room. She was done with this life. The more difficult but better suited option had been chosen. The old Brooke Davis was coming back. She just hoped that people would be willing to accept her now.

"Brooke. What is that?" a voice questioned, as the brunette lugged her garbage bag full of vices down the stairs.

Brooke snapped her head up at the sound of the voice. "Rachel."

"What is it?" Rachel asked again, raising an eyebrow. The bag clanked as Brooke drug it behind herself, out towards the back door.

"This," the brunette announced, launching the bag into the garbage bin outside the house. "Is the start of my new life."

"Huh?"

"The old Brooke Davis is coming back Rachel," Brooke answered casually. "This girl," she motioned towards herself, "Is gone."

Rachel looked at Brooke awkwardly for a second, not knowing what to say. "That's great," she finally squealed breaking the silence. She stepped towards the brunette and threw her arms around her. "What made you change your mind?"

Brooke sighed. "The way I looked at it I had 2 options. Either make myself better or take myself out of this world. I couldn't live like this anymore Rachel. It had become too much and I know that if I didn't get help soon I would either end up killing myself or becoming miserable for the rest of my life."

"Who influenced this? I mean clearly you didn't just wake up and decide you were done. Someone had to have said something to you."

"Karen," Brooke answered simply. "But she's not the only one. You, Nathan, Lucas, and my mother helped too. I don't think I would've made it this far without the four of you. Karen may have been the one to make me take initiative but you guys kept me breathing for this long. Without you guys I would've been dead a long time ago because it is the four of you that gave me hope."

Rachel placed a hand over her heart. "I love you so much Brooke. You are the best friend I could ever ask for and I am so glad that you're doing this. I knew that you could."

"Thanks Rach. I love you too and I know that I haven't been the most ideal friend lately but I am going to make things up to you I promise."

"You're already making things up to me. By becoming you again," Rachel answered, tears of joy springing in her eyes.

"Hey, slut what do you say we go do something tonight?" Brooke asked with a laugh, wrapping her arm around Rachel.

"I'd say hells yes, bitch. It's good to have you back Brooke Davis."

* * *

_**I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight**_

Brooke quickly put the finishing touches on her makeup, setting the eyeliner pencil down and glanced in the mirror. She forced herself to smile and there it was. That girl was coming back. Her smile wasn't nearly as bright or cheery as it used to be but it was getting there. And those eyes, the hate seemed to have dissipated from them. Brooke realized that already she had felt much better. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

The sound of her phone ringing broke Brooke from her thoughts**.**_** Slut **_flashed across the screen, indicating that Rachel was calling her. "I'm almost done Rachel. Quit being so impatient," Brooke mumbled into the phone, the annoyance evident in her voice.

"Sorry. I'm just so excited about you finally leaving the house and doing something fun," Rachel dragged on, and Brooke could picture her rolling her eyes dramatically on the other end of the line.

"I'm just leaving the house right now. Hang tight for another five minutes and I'll be at TRIC as soon as I can."

"Sure but hurry or I might ditch you for the hottie that keeps winking at me. You know I haven't gotten laid in a while since I've been watching you…" Rachel smirked devilishly.

"Rachel!" Brooke gasped, glaring at her friend. Even though Rachel couldn't see her, she knew Brooke was glaring at her.

"Fine, just hurry up. I'm getting bored," Rachel replied impatiently.

"Bye slut," Brooke mocked into the phone.

"Bye bitch."

Brooke laughed as she hung up her phone, tossing it onto the passenger seat as she climbed into her car. 5 more minutes and for the first time in 5 months she might actually have fun.

* * *

Brooke spotted Rachel flirting with some guy at the bar when she walked in. "Slut. I thought I told you to wait 5 minutes," Brooke hissed, grabbing Rachel by the arm and escorting her away.

"You know where to reach me," Rachel hollered back at the guy with a wink as Brooke dragged her away.

"Sorry, I was just preoccupying myself until you got here," Rachel announced as Brooke let go of her. "Follow me. We'll go sit down and get some drinks."

Brooke raised an eyebrow at her. "I meant non-alcoholic drinks," Rachel answered stupidly, forgetting for a second that Brooke couldn't drink.

Rachel grabbed onto Brooke's arm, weaving her through the sea of people and over to a table that had 5 occupants at it. "Here we are."

Lucas, Nathan, Haley, Karen, and Victoria all sat around the table enjoying small chat. Each head whipped up at the sound of Rachel's voice.

"Brooke. Please sit," Karen smiled motioning towards the empty seat beside Lucas. Awkwardly, Brooke nodded and joined him.

"Hey," he smiled putting his arm around her. "How've you been?"

"Good," she answered quietly, fiddling with her fingers awkwardly, considering all six sets of eyes were on her.

"Brookie, Rachel told us that you had something to tell us," Nathan smiled encouragingly, reaching his hand across the table and placing it on top of Brooke's.

She nodded slowly. "I've made a decision."

"What kind of decision honey?" her mother asked curiously.

"My life, it can't continue like this anymore. I basically had 2 options left. Either change or die."

"What did you choose?" Nathan asked stupidly, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"I chose die Nathan. That's why I'm sitting right here," she mumbled sarcastically, with a perfected roll of her hazel eyes.

"Brooke…" Haley warned sternly, not really in the mood for jokes right now.

"Calm down tutor girl I was just kidding," Brooke laughed. "Sorry Nate."

"It's okay. At least you're smiling now."

"Anyways, I'm done with this, all of it. I'm giving this life up because I can't keep torturing myself like this. I want to be myself again and I know that it's going to take a lot of work but if you guys are willing to help me, I will do anything that I can to make it work," Brooke announced to the group in front of her, tears falling from her eyes as she finished.

Five sets of shocked but yet relieved eyes stared at Brooke in unison. "Brooke…" Nathan spoke out, clearly surprised but yet alleviated by his friends revelation.

"I know," she answered, putting her hand up in the air. "Before you guys go telling me how proud you are of me and stuff, I just want to say something."

Nathan nodded his head. "Go ahead Brooke."

"Without you guys I would be so lost right now. Each of you has helped me stay alive through this whole experience. Nathan, you have been my rock, the only one to get through to me. I have grown so close to you through all of this and I just want to thank you for sticking by my side when it got tough and I know you just wanted to leave me alone but you didn't because you are a good friend. And Lucas, things were difficult between at first but you fought for me Lucas and you proved to me that you can be a good friend and I want to thank you so much for that. You have been an amazing friend and I am glad that we could put everything past us in order for you to help me find myself again." Both Scott boys nodded and mumbled thank you's to Brooke. Nathan stretched across the table to engulf Brooke in a hug. Lucas wrapped his arms around her and whispered into her hair. "Just remember that I'm still here for you and if you want to be with me again, I'll be waiting for you because I love you."

Before anyone could say anything else, Brooke continued. "Rachel, I don't even know where to start with you. You have been my guardian angel from the start. You looked after me and showed me that you truly cared about me. A great friendship has unraveled from all of this and I want you to know that I have replaced my former best friend with you. Thank you for all the help and support. You really did pull me through and helped to show me that my life really was worth something." Rachel started tearing up and mumbled a thank you as Brooke moved onto Karen. "Karen, you are the one that opened up my eyes and made me realize the true beauty behind the meaning of life. You are the one that encouraged me that there is a reason to keep breathing everyday and that I should cherish my life for what it's worth. Karen I just want to thank you for being a second mom to me and for saving me from myself." Karen nodded and offered Brooke a genuine smile. "You're welcome Brooke."

"Haley, I know we've drifted from all of this but I do want you to know that I love you so much. I know I might have scared you away by all of these actions and I'm sorry for that. You are the kindest person I know, always putting others before yourself. I wanted to thank you for guiding me through this, even when you were facing problems of your own." Haley smiled and leaned in to give Brooke a hug. "You'll find your way too, with Nathan," Brooke smiled as she released her friend.

Brooke smiled as she turned to Victoria. "Mom, there is so much I have to say to you. My whole life I have wanted to be loved by someone and you were always absent in my life. I pretended that I didn't care but I did. I hated you for leaving me because I wanted nothing more than to make you proud and for you to love me like Peyton's parents loved her. When you came back into my life mom, I felt that love for the first time and it helped me pull through. Now that I know, my mother loves me it makes me feel less worthless. I know that we still have a lot to work on but I hope that we can still be close after this and continue to be in each others' lives because I finally know what it's like to have a mom and I don't want to lose that. Finally, I want to thank you for stepping up and being there, I know it wasn't easy for you but it made me feel so much better and helped me get through this knowing that I was loved."

"Of course we will still be in each others' lives after this. I am not leaving you Brooke. You mean everything to me and I love you more than life itself. It just sucks that it took me 18 years and a suicide attempt to realize it," Victoria smiled, pulling her daughter into her arms, as tears rolled down both of their cheeks.

The rest of the night went by with each of them talking and laughing. Brooke actually found herself having fun. This is how her life should be and she knew it. She had great friends, and a great mother and for right now she felt like she had a purpose in life.

* * *

AN: So that was just a filler chapter about Brooke getting on with her life. The song is Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park. Next chapter will be Brooke spending the night with someone and a major bombshell that could ruin Brooke's relationship with someone will be dropped. From now on most of the chapters will focus on Brooke's love life now she has become herself again and slowly she will transform fully into her old self again!


	13. Dance With The Devil

________

Here I stand, helpless and left for dead

__

__________

In this world so wrong

________

Close your eyes, so many days go by  
Easy to find what's wrong  
Harder to find what's right

I believe in you  
I can show you that I can see right through  
All your empty lies, I won't stay long

* * *

____

__

"Brooke, we're going to be late if you don't hurry your ass up!" Rachel whined, as she paced back and forth outside the bathroom door.

"Just hold on a minute Rach. I have to look good if I'm going out in public," Brooke yelled back, her eyes focused on the mirror as she put the finishing touches on her hair. As she finished up she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiled. She was getting there and already she noticed a difference in the way she looked. She seemed happier and healthier. She let out a sigh of contentment and grabbed her purse before joining Rachel in the front entranceway of the Davis house.

"Have fun girls but don't be out too late," Victoria smiled as the two girls slid their shoes on.

"Well we might just stay over at the beach house. A little sleepover between Me, Nate, Brooke, Hales, and Luke," Rachel told Victoria as she pulled the door open.

"That would be fine. Just call me if you plan on coming home and I'll come unlock the door for you guys."

"Okay, bye Mom. Love you," Brooke smiled, giving her mom a quick hug and following Rachel out the door.

"Love you too Brooke."

* * *

When Rachel and Brooke arrived at the party, Brooke sucked in a huge breath. "I'm nervous Rach."

"You have nothing to worry about Penelope. You look great and if anyone says a word to you I will kick their ass," Rachel laughed linking Brooke's arm with hers as they made their way up the steps to the Scott's beach house.

Overplayed music blasted from loud speakers, the bass vibrating the walls and sweaty, most likely drunk bodies grinded against each other in the living room. A few people were already up on the tables dancing, swaying their bodies along to the beat of the music. "RACHEL. BROOKE!" a voice yelled, grabbing the brunette's attention.

"Luke!" Brooke called out, waving him over to her and Rachel.

"How is my favorite girl doing?" he questioned with a soft smile, taking a swig of his drink.

"I'm doing fine Scott. Thanks for asking," Rachel answered, batting her eyelashes jokingly.

"Let me rephrase that. How are you doing Brooke?" Lucas laughed, emphasizing Brooke's name.

"Nice to know I'm so loved around here," Rachel mumbled sarcastically. "There's a batch of hot boys, a keg, and a dance floor calling my name but I'd say you're in good hands Brooke."

"I'll watch her Rach. Go ahead," Lucas grinned, jerking his thumb towards the dance floor that Rachel was dying to join.

"Brooke just come get me if you need anything. I'll meet up with you later and have fun!" she winked, grabbing Lucas's drink and walking off.

"It's not like I was drinking that or anything," he mumbled, and Brooke laughed looping her arm through his. "You can get another one Broody."

"Actually, I don't think I'm gonna drink. I'll just hang with you if you don't mind and seeing as you're not drinking I wouldn't wanna tease you."

"I don't mind and that's very sweet. Who knew Lucas Scott had a sensitive side?" she teased, getting a whack in the shoulder in return.

"Better watch it Scott or I'll… I'll…" Brooke stuttered, racking her brain for ideas.

"You'll what?" he mocked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I'll tickle you to death!" she squealed, jabbing her fingers into his sides.

"That's it Davis. You better run if you know what's good for you!"

"I've gotcha Brookie," Lucas laughed, throwing the brunette onto the couch, jumping on top of her and tickling her sides with his fingers.

"Lucas. Get off of me!" Brooke squealed, trying her best to push him off of her as she let out uncontrollable fits of laughter.

"I know you're weakness," he laughed, tickling her under the armpits. She squirmed and squealed, begging for him to stop.

"Not until you say Lucas Scott is the hottest guy you've ever seen," he smiled, attacking her even more.

"Okay, Okay. Lucas Scott is the hottest guy I've ever seen," she grinned, emphasizing the word ever.

His face was so close to hers and for a second she thought Lucas was going to kiss her. She could feel his hot breath tickling her neck and it sent spasms up and down her body. His lips were so close to closing the gap between them when a voice coughed, interrupting the two ex lovers.

Lucas quickly jumped off of Brooke and she noticed that Nathan was the one standing over them. "Nate!" she squealed. "I haven't seen you all night."

"Obviously not, since you've been sucking face with my brother," he glared angrily. He was clearly not impressed.

"Oh no Nathan, we weren't. We didn't do anything. He was just tickling me and I was trying to get away from him. We were just playing around."

"Sure you were."

"Um, I'm just gonna go and leave you two alone. Just come find me later okay Brooke," Lucas smiled, giving her a hug before walking off.

"What the hell Brooke? I thought you weren't going down that road with him again!" Nathan screamed, clearly outraged.

"What road Nathan? We're just friends and I don't know why the hell you can't accept that!"

"I don't like you and him getting so close."

"Well he's my friend Nathan and I have a right to joke around with him. Why the hell are you so protective of me anyways? If it was anyone but you I'd almost say you were jealous."

"I'm not jealous but he is my brother and I know what he's capable of doing. I just don't want you to endure another heartbreak again," he lied, trying his best to convince Brooke that he was telling the truth.

"Well, that's sweet Nathan but I'm a big girl and I can make my own decisions," she stated, walking away from Nathan and into the living room, Nathan following close behind.

* * *

"Dude, let's find some porn! I bet you Nathan has got lots in here," Tim Smith yelled from the front of the living room as he dug through a stash of DVDs.

"This one says SEXTAPE on it!" he shouted excitedly, waving the DVD in the air.

"Sounds kinky put it in!" someone yelled from the crowd of people and Tim nodded, popping the DVD player open and inserting it into machine.

"Guys…" Nathan tried to protest, not quite knowing what was on it but he was sure it wasn't good. "What if it's like my parents having sex?"

"I doubt it," Tim scoffed, hitting play.

Two people taping themselves having sex appeared on the screen. The guy on top was clearly Nathan. "What the hell!" Nathan grumbled. He had no memory of creating a sextape with anyone. Not even Haley.

"Is that Haley?" someone yelled from the audience.

Just then the girl lifted herself up from the bed and Nathan groaned. It couldn't be. He remembered sleeping with her but he sure as hell didn't remember taping it, let alone keeping it.

"That's Brooke!" someone yelled excitedly, and the audience erupted into a series of gasps.

"You bitch!" a voice yelled, and Brooke who was mortified, turned around to face Peyton Sawyer.

Peyton's fist connected with her face and Brooke stumbled backwards. "How the hell could you do that to me?"

"Peyton, you and Nathan were broken up. We were both lonely and drunk," she tried to explain, once she gained her composure.

"No Brooke, I cannot believe this. This whole time you made me feel like shit when I cheated with Lucas and you slept with my boyfriend. You are a lying cheating, hypocritical bitch!" she spat, anger forming in her eyes.

"It's different Peyton because you didn't love Nathan!"

"It doesn't matter Brooke. I was still dating him and you knew we'd be back together in a few weeks anyways. It still doesn't make what you did right. I cannot believe this!"

"Now you know how it feels huh?" Brooke questioned, glaring at Peyton. "Now you know how I feel."

"I can't even look at you right now!" Peyton yelled disgustedly as she turned on her heel, pushing people out of her way.

Brooke saw Lucas staring at her from across the room. She walked up to him and sighed. "Lucas…"

"No Brooke. I can't believe this. This changes everything," he mumbled, turning and running away from her, just as Peyton had.

Tears sprang into her eyes and soon Brooke found herself running too. "Brooke!" a voice called after her and she turned around to see Nathan standing there.

"Just go away Nathan! You've already done enough" she screamed, tears furiously sliding down her cheeks.

"Brooke I completely forgot about that thing. I didn't even remember any of it okay? I didn't even know it was there."

"Peyton will probably never talk to me again and Lucas is mad at me. Besides you probably just ruined everything between you and Haley."

Nathan looked down. "I ruined everything between me and Haley a long time ago. Brooke there's something I need to tell you."

"I'm sorry Nate but I have to go. I have to talk to Lucas and make things right. I'm sorry," she whispered, turning her back and running away from him. He looked down in defeat as the brunette he was so desperately in love with ran away from him.

* * *

__

Trembling, crawling across my skin

__

Feeling your cold, dead eyes  
Stealing the life of mine

I believe in you  
I can show you that I can see right through  
All your empty lies, I won't last long  
In this world so wrong

Say goodbye,  
As we dance with the devil tonight  
Don't you dare look at him in the eye

__

As we dance with the devil tonight

* * *

__

Nathan and Brooke slept together. He couldn't believe it, it just didn't add up. How could they not say anything about it and just pretend that nothing ever happened? Lucas let out a frustrated sigh as he fell back on his bed. He was afraid that he was going to lose Brooke to Nathan and he wasn't sure he could stand that. A knock on the door broke Lucas from his thoughts and although he didn't want to answer it, he knew he had to.

"Lucas…" Brooke breathed out, when he opened the door.

He tried to close it but she blocked it with her hand. "Please Lucas, just hear me out okay?" she begged, the desperation evident in her voice.

"Fine," he growled, stepping out of the way and letting her inside.

"I'm so sorry that you had to see that Lucas. It is a part of my past that I tried to erase. It meant absolutely nothing to me and it happened so long ago. I was a completely different person back then and I was lonely and drunk. It just sort of happened."

"Why didn't you tell me Brooke? Why didn't you say anything?" he demanded, not quite understanding why she wouldn't tell him about it.

"It's not something that you just mention in a conversation Lucas. Hey, Lucas I slept with your brother a few years ago. So what's up? That's not exactly a comfortable topic. It could've been anyone Lucas because like it or not I was a slut back then. I just wanted to try and forget my past," she cried out, feeling ashamed as she spilled her heart out to Lucas.

"I just… I don't know, it's hard to process you and Nathan sleeping together. That's a huge deal Brooke."

"I know and I'm sorry but I don't have any feelings for him. It was a mistake. We were both so drunk we hardly even remember it."

Lucas nodded. "It's fine Brooke. I can accept it, it's just weird."

"Brooke…" Lucas whispered, stepping towards her.

"Yeah," she responded awkwardly, not sure what he was going to do.

"I love you."

"Lucas. Don't okay? I can't deal with this right now," she sighed, pushing him away from her.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that when we almost kissed tonight you didn't feel anything," he demanded, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close to him. "Just tell me."

"I can't…" she stuttered. "The truth is I will always love you Lucas but I can't be with you."

"Why? I love you Brooke, and you love me. What else is there standing in the way?"

"I can't trust you Lucas and that is what a relationship is built upon."

"Why can't we just take it slow and let that trust build up over time?" he questioned, searching for something in her eyes.

"I want to Lucas but I can't. I know that you love me and you have proved that to me by fighting for me this whole time. There is no doubt in my mind that you do love me but you deserve better," she cried out. "You deserve someone that isn't such a broken mess. You deserve someone that knows who they are and what they want in life. I'm not that girl Luke. I'm sorry."

She took one last look at Lucas and then made a dash for the door, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Brooke!" Lucas yelled, grabbing her and pulling her towards him. "I love you, nothing else matters. God knows I don't deserve you but I want you to trust me again and I will do anything that I can to make this work. I think that you being vulnerable is beautiful and I wouldn't have you any other way," he smiled and before she could respond his lips crashed onto hers.

She wanted to pull away, she tried but she couldn't. She found herself kissing him back with just as much hunger and passion as he was, her mouth devouring his. In that moment she decided that she wanted him. Even if it was just for the night she needed to feel him one last time, just for closure or something. She found herself tugging at his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head and when she did he finally broke the contact. "Brooke…" he whispered but she brought her fingers up to his mouth and silenced him. "Just make love to me Lucas."

"Are you sure?" he asked seriously. Of course he wanted Brooke but he didn't want to ruin anything, especially if she just wanted a one night stand and nothing more. She nodded her head, "yes." So Lucas laid the beautiful brunette down on the bed, his hands roaming up and down her body. "Promise me you'll still be here in the morning?" he asked, breathing heavily and she nodded. "I promise."

* * *

A single tear escaped the eye of Haley James as the image of Brooke and Nathan fucking each other entered her head. She shuddered at the thought of it. She couldn't believe they had drunken sex and neither of the bothered to tell her about it. A banging on the door of her apartment interrupted her from her thoughts and she sighed getting up to answer it, wondering who would be bothering her this late at night. She pulled open the door, revealing her ex-husband. He looked out of breath, like he'd just ran all the way there. "Haley..." he whispered, as she reached for the door to slam it in his face.

"Haley, please" he begged, pushing the door open with his hand.

"No, Nathan. You lied to me," she yelled furiously. "I can't believe you never told me about that. I thought there were no secrets between us. Obviously I was wrong."

"Haley, we were drunk. I forgot about it."

"Bullshit you forgot about it Nate. Sleeping with your brothers ex-girlfriend, whom you are very good friends with is not something you forget about," Haley screeched, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"So maybe I didn't actually forget about it but I chose to forget about it. It is a part of my past, a part that I chose not to carry with me. It didn't mean anything Haley and as for the taping of it, we were drunk out of our minds. I honestly do not remember taping it."

"Whatever Nathan, your life really isn't any of my business anymore," she mumbled coldly. "Now if you'll excuse me I have stuff to do." She attempted to close the door but Nathan stopped her yet again.

"I'm sorry Hales. I should've told you about it."

"You're right you should've. Anything else you kept from me that you feel the need to tell me? Not that there could be anything worse than losing your virginity to my sister and making a sextape with one of my best friends," Haley mumbled sarcastically.

Nathan shook his head. "Not that I can think of anyways."

"Well then you should probably go," she answered, glaring at him harshly.

"I'm so sorry Hales. I don't know what else to say."

"It's fine Nathan. Like I said your life really isn't my business anymore. Goodbye Nathan." And with that she slammed the door in his face. Nathan hung his head in shame. "Great job Nathan, you just ruined your relationship with the 2 girls that mean the most to you in one day," he mumbled to himself. And on top of that he had probably just ruined his relationship with Peyton as well. He really was having a shitty day.

* * *

Sunlight seeped through the open window, illuminating the beautiful face next to Lucas. He smiled as he slowly opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep from the corners of them. He was glad that Brooke had kept her promise, she was still there. His arm was draped lazily around her waist and her head lay gently against his bare chest. He stared at her, taking in her beauty. She was breathing lightly, her exposed chest rising up and down rhythmically and she looked so peaceful. Gently, he tucked a strand of shiny brown hair behind her ear and leaned over to kiss her forehead. She stirred a little bit, and then slowly opened her mesmerizing hazel eyes to look at him. "What are you looking at?" she smirked, rolling over on her side.

"You," he smiled, snuggling closer to her.

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes in typical Brooke Davis fashion. "It's a bit creepy though don't you think?"

He shook his head and she laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that anyways?"

"Because, you're so beautiful," he grinned, flashing her a smile.

"And you're so cheesy."

"But you love it."

"Last night was amazing," he spoke quietly when she didn't respond.

Brooke nodded her head in agreement. "That it was but we shouldn't have done it."

"You're the one that wanted to do it," he countered, giving her a look of confusion.

"I know but it was still wrong," she mumbled, tracing her fingers along his bare chest. "It was so wrong."

"If it was so wrong then why did you do it Brooke?"

"Because, I have a weakness when it comes to you," she whispered softly, avoiding his gaze.

"You regret it don't you?"

She shook her head. "No Lucas, I don't regret it. Not for a second. I could never regret any of it. I love you so much and I hate myself for it because I shouldn't love you. It's so wrong."

"Brooke, please just give me another chance. I meant every word that I said last night. We can take this really slow and see where it goes. I don't want to live with what could have been. I've already made too many mistakes in my life and I don't want this to be one of them," he whispered reaching over and kissing her as passionately as he could muster.

Outside the window, someone was watching. He had come to make peace with his brother about the sextape and see how Lucas was dealing with it but seeing his brother jamming his tongue down Brooke's throat made him sick to his stomach. Lucas didn't deserve Brooke, not after all the shit he'd put her through.

"Lucas, I have to go. I burnt a lot of bridges last night and I need to fix them," she sighed, getting up off the bed.

"Brooke, don't go. Please don't run away from this," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry Lucas but I have some things to take care of and I need to think about this okay. I promise you that when I figure things out I'll make a decision about us," she smiled motioning between the two of them.

Lucas nodded as he walked over to her. "I love you Brooke and I just want you to know that I will support whatever you choose because I just want you to be happy and if it's not with me then I guess I can accept that."

Brooke smiled, "thank you Lucas, for being so understanding about all of this."

He nodded and gave Brooke a quick kiss before she left. "I'll be waiting."

* * *

"You slept with Lucas. Brooke are you fucking crazy?" Rachel yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.

"It just sort of happened. I don't know how but it just did."

"Well do you regret it?"

"No. Of course not," she mumbled, looking at the ground as she spoke.

"So you are still in love with him. You're finally admitting it," Rachel grinned, happy that her friend wasn't denying her love for Lucas anymore.

"I didn't say that," Brooke snapped. "I just said that I didn't regret it."

"You obviously have feelings for him Brooke. What are you still doing here? You need to go tell that boy that you love him," Victoria cut in, smiling at her daughter.

"Mom, I'm so confused right now. I don't know if I can do that. I just need some time to think," Brooke answered, a little bit pissed off that her mother and Rachel were prying into her life. This was her business, not theirs.

Victoria sighed. "Maybe love is that missing piece in your life right now. If you could find it maybe this whole redemption thing would be easier."

Brooke shook her head. "Mom, you don't understand. I will always love Lucas no matter what but it's not that easy. We have so many issues to work out and I don't know if I can give my heart to him. It's just not worth the risk."

"Brooke, if you don't try you will never know. Do you really want to go through life wondering what if?"

"It beats the alternative. I can't suffer another heart break. My heart can only take so much. I'm not in-fucking-vincible."

"Brooke, love is the one thing that can finally save you. Lucas may have been an idiot in the past but I can tell that he is serious about this. Once he lost you he realized how much he loved you and sometimes you need to lose love to realize love. If that makes any sense," Rachel contributed to the conversation.

Brooke shook her head. "I'm not sure. I want to but I just don't think I can."

"Brooke I love you but you are so damn stubborn sometimes. You put up walls because you are afraid of getting hurt but if you don't let those walls down you are going to end up bitter and alone just like me," Victoria responded. "And trust me, you don't want to end up like me, regretting the choices you made in life and thinking about the what ifs."

"What do you mean the what ifs?"

Victoria sighed, running a hand through her brunette locks. "When I was your age Brooke, I had everything going for me and I was in love with a boy. I really did think that we were going to be together forever but we had some trust issues similar to you and Lucas. We broke up and he wanted to get back together but I was afraid of getting my heart broken so I let him go. It was the biggest mistake of my life and because I made that simple mistake I ended up living a lie in a miserable marriage to a man I didn't love for 18 years. Richard gave me you so I can't complain but I still wonder what if all the time. I wouldn't have you in my life so I guess I am glad that I chose the road I did but that doesn't mean I don't wonder from time to time. I don't want you to make that same mistake Brooke. You need to let love in while you can because life is too short. You don't want to waste 18 years thinking what if."

"You never told me that," Brooke whispered, staring at her mom in amazement.

"It never crossed my mind but now that you know I want you to consider it. I don't want you to end up lonely and miserable."

"Your mom is right," Rachel added, wrapping her arms around Brooke. "If you don't tell Lucas how you feel you are going to regret it later on down the road. That's a guarantee."

Brooke nodded her head. "I will think about it but there is something I need to do right now."

* * *

Brooke sat in her room alone, contemplating her choices. Did she give in to Lucas or let him go and wonder what if for the rest of her life? She had no clue. Why the hell was this so damn hard? She had seen a whole other of Lucas last night. That was the Lucas Scott she had always wanted but she wasn't sure how long that would last. Would he eventually change? She would be taking a huge risk if she ran back into his arms.

A soft knock on the door startled Brooke, ripping her from her contemplation.

"Come in," she whispered, having a feeling who it was.

He door opened and Nathan Scott walked in, a hurt and angry look on his face. She wasn't expecting him at all.

"Nathan, I'm sorry about last night," she mumbled, upon seeing the anger flashing in his blue eyes.

"Did you sleep with him?" Nathan questioned harshly, sending Brooke an icy glare.

"What are you talking about Nathan?"

"Lucas. Did you sleep with him?" the brunette male repeated frantically, searching for an answer in Brooke's eyes.

"Where did you get that idea?" she questioned. Who the hell would've known about her night with Lucas?

"I saw the two of you in his bed kissing this morning and it was no friendly kiss. It was a full blown make out session. Don't bother lying to me Davis because I have a feeling I already know the answer to my question."

She looked down shamefully, "yes."

"I knew it! God damnit," Nathan cursed, kicking at the air.

"Nathan, I know you and Lucas aren't exactly on the best of terms right now but this was my decision. You cannot blame Lucas for it because I asked him to make love to me," she stated simply, looking Nathan directly in the eyes as she spoke.

"Brooke, what the hell is wrong with you? Lucas is an asshole and he has no clue how to treat you right!"

"I know you don't approve of me and Lucas but he is by no means an asshole. He has made his fair share of mistakes but we all do and I will always love Lucas. Love was never our problem it was trust."

Nathan sucked in a deep breath. "You deserve better Brooke. Like me."

"What the hell Nathan?" Brooke questioned. What the hell was he talking about when he said like me?

"You remember last night when I said I had something to tell you and you left?"

"Yes."

"Well that was it. I love you Brooke. That is why I have been so against you and Lucas getting together. It is because I love you too."

Hearing those words come out of Nathan's mouth made her almost faint. "Wha…What…?" she stuttered.

"You heard me Brooke, I love you. It's as simple as that. I want to be with you and you deserve someone better than Lucas. You deserve someone that loves you for who you are and someone that is going to stay faithful to you. I can give that to you Brooke."

Brooke just stood there in shock, trying to process all of this. Finally she spoke. "What about Haley? Don't you love her?"

"I did but that was a lifetime ago. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with you Brooke. I don't know how or why but it just fell into place. I want to give us a try because I know that we can be great together."

"Nathan, even if I wanted to there is no way this would work," she motioned between the two of them. "I could never do that to Haley. She has been through so much and that girl loves you more than anything. She is your soul mate Nathan and I would not settle for being second best. I know what that feels like and I couldn't go through it again."

"You wouldn't be second place Brooke. Haley would understand. You need to make a decision that you feel is in your best interest. Look deep down inside your heart and decide do you see yourself with me? Or with Lucas? Or maybe neither of us?"

"Nathan, I can't. Don't make me choose. I love both you and Lucas so much. You are one of my very best friends and so is Lucas. I don't want to be the one responsible for tearing your relationship with Lucas apart. I won't be that girl."

"It doesn't matter who you choose Brooke, either way one of us is going to get hurt. Lucas and I will never be the same, not after this."

"Nathan, please. Don't do this," she pleaded, tears springing in her eyes. She couldn't risk losing either of them. They had both become such big parts of her life.

Nathan grabbed Brooke's hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "Just tell me, you want to be with me Brooke. I can give you everything that you need."

"I'm sorry Nathan but I can't. I just need some time to think okay?" she whispered, turning her back on him and once again Brooke Davis did the one thing she was best at. She ran.

* * *

AN: DUN DUN DUN cliffhanger. Evil I know but you're just going to have to wait until next chapter to find out who Brooke chooses! I would have to say this was the longest chapter I have written but also the one I've had the most fun with. There was some major drama in this and the story is going to heat up! The song used was Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin. Next chapter will be Brooke's choice and her breaking the heart of the other Scott boy. There will also be 2 characters get a bit of reconciliation and hopefully discussion of the Brathan sextape between Nathan/Peyton and Haley/Brooke. Anyways please review because it makes my day and it will make the updates come faster!


	14. Pieces

_**I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way**_

Nathan or Lucas? Nathan or Lucas? Her brain was having a hard time comprehending the events that had just unfolded over the past two days. Who did she pick, Nathan or Lucas? Lucas was the obvious choice because she loved him and he loved her but she wasn't sure if she could ever give her heart to Lucas again. It was just too risky and suffering another heartbreak was out of the question. If she were to choose Lucas she had to be one hundred percent sure that it was worth it. She had never thought about Nathan in that way before. Nathan was like a brother to her and he was supposed to love Haley not her. However, she and Nathan were so alike and she could relate to him better than anyone. She trusted him more than anyone and was pretty confident that he would stay faithful to her. Nathan was a good guy and honestly she could see herself being with Nathan. It wasn't too farfetched. Why the hell was this so damn hard? She knew she had to make a choice soon and it wasn't going to be an easy one. Someone was going to get hurt and she didn't want to be the barrier that stood in the way of Lucas and Nathan's relationship. They were brothers and they were in love with the same girl. They were both in love with her and she was pretty sure that to some degree she was in love with both of them as well.

* * *

Peyton Sawyer could not believe that Nathan and Brooke had gotten together behind her back. She felt broken and betrayed, like she meant nothing to either of them. She felt like Brooke Davis did every single day of her life. Feeling this pain actually made her realize how much she had hurt Brooke. It was almost unbearable knowing that someone who supposedly loved you and someone who was like a sister to you could do something so horrible to you.

_**BANG BANG **_

The sound of a fist connecting with the door broke Peyton out of her thoughts and caused her to jolt upright, springing out of her bed to answer the door. Flying down the stairs, Peyton flung the door open, hoping to find someone like Haley. She was almost certain that Haley would come over, feeling betrayed by Nathan and needing a friend. Instead an uneasy looking Nathan Scott stood on her doorstep, a timid smile spread across his boyish face. "Bastard," the grieving blonde muttered under her breath.

"Peyton please let me explain," Nathan pried, not wanting to get yet another door slammed in his face. It had become a familiar feeling over the past few days.

"You lied to me and cheated on me with my best fucking friend. What else is there to explain? I trusted you and you betrayed me. Way to go Nathan," she growled. "Now I'd appreciate it if you just left." She tried to close the door but Nathan's strong hand stopped it and he walked inside, pushing past the broken blonde.

"Peyton, I never meant to hurt you. Brooke and I were only 15. We were drunk, lonely, and stupid. You and I were broken up and I found solace in the arms of Brooke Davis. It was wrong and you will never know how sorry I am," Nathan clarified gently, gazing into Peyton's teary green eyes as he spoke.

"It doesn't change what you did. Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded coldly, her eyes transforming into a deadly glare.

"I didn't want you to leave me Peyt," he answered quietly, looking at his feet as he spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me after Nate? Why didn't you tell me after we'd broken up and you moved onto Haley?"

"Because we had become such great friends Peyton and I didn't want to put a strain on that. I knew that telling you would cause tension between us and I didn't want to risk that. That is a part of my past that I tried to erase Peyton and it didn't mean anything to me."

"Whatever Nathan, I don't care. Things are never going to be the same. You and Brooke are dead to me," she hissed, trying to push her muscular brunette ex-boyfriend towards the door.

"Peyton, can I tell you something?" Nathan asked desperately. He didn't want to cut Peyton out of his life because she was an amazing friend and he knew that what she did with Lucas was wrong but she was still his Peyton. She was still the girl that he would go to when he was having Haley problems, before he and Brooke had become close. Secretly, he missed his friendship with Peyton and he wanted have her in his life again.

"What?" she asked clearly annoyed, as she tapped her foot against the floor impatiently.

"I'm in love with someone," he admitted, staring Peyton dead in the eyes.

"And why are you telling me this?"

"Because, I miss being able to talk to you about anything Peyt. We broke up on mutual terms but we were still friends and we managed to get past that. I came to you when I had problems with Haley or Lucas and I miss that."

"And now you have Brooke to run to," she grumbled harshly, narrowing her eyes at Nathan.

"Actually that's the thing. I already told Brooke about this. I just wanted your opinion," he smiled. "So what do you say? You ready to listen and comfort me?"

"Looks I don't have a choice do I?" she groaned, the sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue.

Nathan shook his head. "No you don't Sawyer."

"So who is this girl? Is it Haley? Because if it is, I can totally hook you guys up," Peyton rambled as she sat alongside Nathan on the couch.

"No it's not Haley. God why does everyone assume that I still love Haley?" he demanded, running a hand freely through his dark brunette locks.

"Because you do, and it is so obvious Nate," Peyton simply answered for him.

"No it's not because it isn't true. A piece of my heart will always be with Haley, but a piece of my heart will always be with you too and that doesn't mean that I still love you."

"True. But who else could it be if it's not Haley and it's not me?" Peyton asked, wanting an answer in the worst way.

"Promise you won't judge me?" he asked, holding his pinky finger out to Peyton in a childlike manner.

Peyton laughed and hooked her pinky with Nathan's. "Promise, unless she's a whore, then I might have to judge you."

"You might think she is," Nathan growled under his breath.

"Nate…"

"It's okay Peyt. You really want to know huh?"

"Yes, it's killing me Nate. If you don't love Haley, then I want to know who the hell had the ability to steal the great Nathan Scott's heart," she laughed. "But, seriously I want to know."

"Brooke," Nathan whispered his voice barely audible.

"What about Brooke?" Peyton questioned dumbly, blinking at Nathan in confusion.

"It's Brooke I love Peyton. She's the one," a smile spread across Nathan's face and Peyton's jaw dropped to the floor, causing her to nearly fall off the couch.

"Brooke…" Peyton questioned, not sure if she'd heard Nathan's answer correctly. "Please tell me you meant Brooke Shields or something like that."

Nathan shook his head. "You know exactly what Brooke I am talking about Peyton."

"Why is that all the guys I have ever loved fall for Brooke Davis? What the hell is so damn special about her?" Peyton demanded, running a hand through her blonde curls.

Nathan chuckled. "I don't think Jake fell for her."

"That we know of," Peyton responded harshly.

"Anyways you wanna know what's so special about Brooke?" Nathan questioned and Peyton nodded her head, curious to hear Nathan's answer.

"She is beautiful, not only on the inside but also on the outside. She has the most amazing personality and her ability to get through anything life throws at her is inspiring. She has this amazing energy that just makes me want to get closer to her. I can also relate to her because we are so much alike that it scares me. She intrigues me and always leaves me hanging and most importantly she sees the real me and I feel like I can tell her anything and she won't judge me."

"Wow, so you're really serious about this?" Peyton inquired upon seeing the huge goofy smile on Nathan's face as he spoke about Brooke. She hadn't seen Nathan this happy since him and Haley had gotten married.

He nodded his head. "Wow, so how did it happen then?"

Nathan shrugged causally. "It just kind of happened. Somewhere along the way between watching her fall down and become miserable and watching her struggle to cope with her life I fell in love with her."

"How did she take it?"

"Not well. She told me that she needed time to think about things. I'm afraid of losing her to Lucas," Nathan admitted. "I don't know if I could handle being second best because let's face it, Lucas will always occupying a huge part of her heart no matter what.

Peyton nodded. "I know how you feel. It seems inevitable to escape a love triangle with them. You fall in love with one of them and the other comes as a package deal. It sucks."

"It does," Nathan agreed, glancing at his ex. "How did you get over it?"

"Quite honestly I didn't. I will always have feelings for Lucas but I know it will never be mutual. He loves Brooke and I could never be second best either. I could never bear to know that the man I love will always love my best friend and that I could never compare to her or take her place. I guess I just learned that true love conquers all and I eventually gave up on trying to fight a battle that I was never going to win."

"Wow, Peyton that's uh… some pretty deep stuff," Nathan answered, not quite sure what to say. It was like she was discouraging him from being with Brooke.

Peyton must've sensed the awkwardness because she let out a long, heavy sigh. "Look, Nate I'm not trying to discourage you from loving Brooke, I just don't want to see you get hurt. Trust me, I know what it is like to be in your position and being on one side of the deadly Brooke/Lucas love triangle is not easy. Someone always ends up getting hurt and I don't want that person to be you Nate. I'm not sure that your heart could handle that again."

"Thanks Peyt," he mumbled as he wrapped his large muscular arms around the petite blonde. "You're a great friend and an even more amazing person. One day you are going to meet the right guy. I'm sorry that Lucas couldn't be it for you."

"It's okay Nate. Someday," she laughed, letting go of her brunette friend. It was so nice to have Nathan back in her life again. She felt like he had been distancing himself lately but maybe the release of the sextape was a sign that was meant to bring them back together. After all, Nathan was about the easiest person to talk to.

* * *

"Haley come on open up!" Brooke yelled, beating her tiny fist against Haley's front door. "I know you're in there.

"When are you going to get the hint that I don't want to talk to you?" Haley demanded, flinging the door open and sending Brooke a lethal glare.

"Never," Brooke smiled, pushing past Haley and entering the apartment that Nathan and Haley had once shared.

Haley frowned. "Seriously Brooke, I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone."

"Does this have to do with well you know what?" Brooke asked awkwardly, referring to the sextape and its grand release.

When Haley nodded Brooke sighed. "I'm sorry Haley. It was a very long time ago and it meant nothing. It was an accident and in my defense you didn't even know Nathan back then so I didn't technically betray you."

"That's not it Brooke," Haley countered, shaking her brunette locks. "I know that it was a long time ago and I can't take that out on you considering I never knew either of you and I'm sure it was one of those things better left unsaid. It's just weird and I really don't want to think about it."

"Haley, you've been acting weird lately. You sure there isn't something else bothering you?" Brooke asked, putting a comforting hand on top of Haley's.

"It's Nathan. I just wish he would talk to me. I kind of lashed him out about the sextape the other night but I hadn't been thinking rationally and I was just upset at the moment."

Brooke nodded considerately. She did feel bad for Haley. "Why don't you try talking to Nathan?"

Haley shook her head. "I kind of get the feeling that he doesn't want to talk to me and I don't want to upset him."

"You might regret it if you don't. Just explain it all to him, I'm sure he'll understand"

"I suppose I could try," Haley answered solemnly.

"That a girl. Now let's go shopping. I've had an awful lot on my mind lately and I need to just think about other stuff," Brooke cracked a smile and linked her arm through Haley's.

"Looks like I don't have a choice," Haley mumbled sarcastically as Brooke drug her out the door.

"No you don't!"

* * *

After she got back from shopping with Haley, Brooke flopped down on her bed. She weighed her choices out again. Nathan or Lucas? Both of them had been there for her when she needed them the most. Tonight she was going to have to break one heart and relieve another but possibly put hers on the line. This decision was going to be one of the hardest choices she'd ever have to make in her life but she knew this could also be the missing piece in her redemption process. Filling a lonely void with love would likely distract her and not tempt her to turn back to her vices. Silently in her head Brooke pro and conned her two options in attempt to come up with an answer. After about 10 minutes of consideration Brooke knew her answer. The guy she was about to choose would always be number one in her heart, forever and always. There was no denying that he was the one for her. It just sucked that someone else had to get their heart broken in the process.

Brooke sucked in a deep breath as she walked up the familiar steps. This was it, this choice was going to define her for the rest of her life.

She waited patiently, shifting her feet awkwardly as she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. "Brooke it's so nice to see you," the lady squealed as she opened the door.

Brooke offered her a small smile and asked where her son was. "He's upstairs in his room. Go on up," she grinned, closing the door behind Brooke.

Brooke thanked her and trudged up the stairs slowly, not really wanting to do this but knowing she had to.

He was sitting on his bed flipping through a sports illustrated magazine when she entered quietly. She had to clear her throat for him to acknowledge her existence. "Brooke!" he smiled, patting the bed next to her.

Hesitantly she made her way over to the bed and clasped her fingers together, wondering how to go about this.

"Have you made up your mind yet?" he asked curiously, setting the magazine down and focusing on her, trying to decipher the look in her eyes. It was a mix of pain and agony. It looked like she was about to break someone's heart. He just hoped it wasn't his.

She nodded slowly. "I did. It took a lot of thinking and careful consideration but I did it."

"And..." he trailed off, bracing himself for the answer. It was either going to ruin his life or make him the happiest man alive.

"It was not easy and it kills me to break someone's heart. I don't want the outcome of my decision to affect anyone's friendship. I value my friendship with both of you so much and I know that you value your friendship with your brother as well."

"It won't affect anything I promise," he answered softly putting a hand on her shoulder. "I just want you to be happy and if it isn't with me then I understand."

Brooke nodded her head and suddenly a frenzy of tears spilled from her eyes. This was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. "I'm sorry but I can't be with you. I'm in love with someone else."

"Brooke…" he croaked out, feeling like his heart had just been crushed by a freight train.

"One day you are going to find the right girl but that girl isn't me. A part of me will always love you but I love someone else more and I can't lie to you. It would kill me to lead you on. If Haley isn't the girl for you then she's out there somewhere I promise. I'm sorry that girl couldn't be me but my heart already belongs to someone else. I'm sorry but I can't do this Nathan,"

It killed him inside. So much that he could hardly breathe but he knew what he had to do.

"I love you Brooke, don't ever forget that but I need you to be happy. Go tell Lucas how you feel," he offered her a weak smile despite the fact that he felt like crying.

A tear slipped down Brooke's cheek. "What about you Nathan?" she asked, feeling extremely guilty.

"I'll be fine. Just go," he pointed towards the door and she nodded. "Goodbye Nathan,"

"Goodbye Brookie," he whispered, choking back his tears as she left his room, taking the guilt of breaking his heart with her.

* * *

_**I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your eye**_

Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole

Lucas Scott tried to concentrate on his homework but he was having an extremely hard time. The thought of Brooke telling Nathan she wanted to be with him kept creeping into his mind. A faint knock on the door interrupted him from his thoughts and he let out a frustrated sigh as he got up and pulled the door open. Standing before him was Brooke Davis, looking so broken and in pain. Great, she's going to break my heart he thought.

"Lucas…" she breathed out, the look in her eyes breaking him. It was so painful and broken.

"Hey," he managed to croak out, letting her inside.

"I need to tell you something," she whispered quietly, her expression unreadable. Lucas had no clue what was going to happen.

"Okay," he gulped, afraid of her revelation.

"I just got back from Nathan's…" she started, her voice trailing off.

"And?" he questioned, desperate to know her answer.

"And, I told him that I couldn't be with him," she finished, a glint of guilt in her eyes. "I feel so bad for breaking his heart. He doesn't deserve it considering what he's been through but I couldn't lie to him."

Lucas felt so relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Nathan though because he knew what rejection felt like and it was by no means a pleasant feeling.

Lucas stared at her blankly for a second before pulling her into his arms and stroking her soft hair. "It's okay Brooke. You did what you thought was right."

She nodded and pulled away from his embrace. "I love you," she whispered, tears glistening her perfect hazel eyes.

He almost looked shocked by her revelation. "It's so wrong but I can't help it. I need you Lucas because if I don't give you another chance I'm going to keep regretting it for the rest of my life. I don't want it to be just another what if."

A small smile spread across Lucas's face as he moved towards her. "I love you too pretty girl and I promise never to hurt you again. Without you my life doesn't mean anything. I need you," he whispered, leaning in so close that his hot breath tickled her neck, teasing her.

"Just shut up and kiss me," she smiled, her dimples coming back to life.

"I've missed those dimples," he grinned before closing the space between them. The kiss was long and passionate and everything that had been bottled up inside of them the last few months was finally released.

He pressed his forehead against Brooke's when he finally pulled away. "God I love you so much."

It was getting late, the clock read 10:41 and Brooke knew that she should be getting home but she didn't want to.

"Can I stay here with you tonight?" she asked, turning to Lucas and putting on her best puppy dog face.

"Of course you can," he smiled, leading her towards the bed.

* * *

In the dark two figures laid side by side, only the moonlight illuminating their faces. The neon numbers on the clock blinked 3:36 AM.

"Lucas, you awake?" Brooke questioned, nudging him in the ribs.

"I am now," he grumbled, removing his arm from Brooke's waist and rolling onto his side so he was facing the brunette beauty next to him. She looked so innocent as she stared up at him with those intriguing eyes of hers.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, tracing a finger across his bare chest.

"You," he smiled, leaning over and gently placing a kiss on her temple, "And how much I love you."

Brooke cracked a smile, "I'm so glad I decided to give us a chance," she whispered, lacing her fingers with his. "See they fit perfectly."

"Can I ask you something?" Lucas asked, receiving a nod from the brunette next to him.

"What made you choose?"

Brooke smiled. "I think I could've loved Nathan but I don't feel the same way about him as I do about you. I don't get the same feeling around him as I do around you, I just don't feel that same spark."

"So your choice didn't have anything to do with not wanting to betray Haley?" Lucas asked honestly and Brooke shook her head. "No."

"I know that I would always be second best to Haley anyways. Nobody will ever be able to make Nathan feel the same way Haley made him feel. Besides, nobody makes me feel the way you do."

Lucas gave her a small smile. "Good because nobody certainly makes me feel the way you do. I'm so sorry for dating Peyton."

"It's fine Luke. We broke up and you went out and experienced someone else. I'm okay with that because in the end it brought me back to you," she smiled genuinely, gently laying her head on Lucas's chest.

"Do you feel that?" he questioned after a moment of silence.

Brooke shook her head. "Feel what?"

He brought her hand to his chest. "That," he referred to the sound of his heart beating at a rapid pace. "That's what you do to me pretty girl."

"You sure that's not just the HCM kicking in?" she smirked, glancing up at him.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Definitely not."

"You know I could lie like this forever," Lucas grinned, wrapping his arms around Brooke.

"Me too," she agreed, "But we should probably get some sleep."

Lucas nodded, "night pretty girl. I love you."

"I love you too Broody," she whispered, closing her eyes and listening to the steady sound of his heart beating against her warm body.

For the first time in months Brooke felt complete. She felt like she had a reason to wake up every morning and continue living her life. That reason was Lucas. He had saved her from herself and his love was the final piece of the puzzle called life. It was the thing that was going to save her and prevent her from relapsing again. Maybe it was what had been missing all along. Although the choice had been hard and had torn someone else's heart in half she knew she'd made the right decision.

* * *

AN: So there you have it! Brucas is endgame although they only won by a very small margin! The song is Pieces by Red. I had the most fun writing the Pathan scene because their friendship and relationship has always appealed to me. I also loved writing the Brucas scene and I must say although I was starting to really love Brathan, I am glad I took the Brucas route with this story. Next chapter will be a little Lucas/Nathan scene and possibly some Naley. The main thing in the next chapter will be a Brooke/Peyton scene, although I'm not going to say how it is going to play out! The next week is going to be crazy with finals approaching but I will try and update as soon as I can. I will also try updating my new story "Picking Up The Pieces" once this is finished but I don't want to focus on two stories at once. There are only about 4 chapters left with this story anyways! Please review and let me know what you think!


	15. Life Is Beautiful

_**You can't quit until you try  
You can't live until you die  
You can't learn to tell the truth  
Until you learn to lie**_

_**You can't breathe until you choke  
You gotta laugh when you're the joke  
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive**_

"Brooke. Wake up. School starts in an hour," Lucas whispered softly, lightly shaking the sleeping brunette.

"Five more minutes," she groaned rolling over on her side, so she was facing away from Lucas.

"You've said that every five minutes for the last half hour," he chuckled, nudging her.

When he got no response he flung a pillow at her head, hitting her square in the back of the head. "LUCAS!" she yelled, pulling herself out of his bed, an angry look on her face. Her hair was sticking up all over the place, her eyes were still red and groggy due to sleep deprivation, and her face was pale.

She picked up the pillow and launched it at him with all her might, narrowly missing him and crashing it into the wall beside him with a bang. He winced at the contact and smiled. "Wow pretty girl who knew you had such a hard throw?"

She still stood there glaring at him and he walked towards her with a smirk. "You know you're sexy as hell when you're angry."

"I thought I was sexy as hell all time," she smirked, her features softening as he moved closer to her, encircling his arms around her petit waste.

"Oh, don't worry you are. Even in the morning when you look like something from a horror movie."

"Lucas!" she squealed, slapping his bare chest. "You don't look too hot in the morning either."

"I was kidding babe. You look especially beautiful in the morning."

"Nice try. You must want something from me," she smiled, leaning close to him. "I wonder what that might be."

He closed the gap between them and soon Brooke fumbled back onto the bed, Lucas on top of her. About 5 minutes into their make out session, which was getting very heated, a voice cleared their throat behind the 2 teens and they whipped apart. Karen leaned against the doorframe, a strict look scrawled across her face. "Sorry did I interrupt anything?" she questioned, with the raise of her eyebrow.

"Uh, no I was just going. Bye Karen. Bye Luke," Brooke mumbled awkwardly, giving Lucas a quick kiss before disappearing out the door.

"Mom…" Lucas groaned, flinging back onto his bed.

"You didn't tell me Brooke was spending the night and what the hell is with the two of you making out? I thought you weren't dating," Karen rambled, shooting questions at Lucas.

"Mom calm down," Lucas laughed silencing his mother. "Brooke and I got back together last night. It was late and she spent the night, nothing happened I swear."

"Nothing better have happened or you are so grounded," Karen answered strictly. "But on the bright side I'm glad to see you and Brooke back together. Just don't hurt her this time." Before he could reply Karen was already out the door. "Oh and next time you and Brooke decide to make out at quarter to 8 in the morning, please close the door," she called over her shoulder, making Lucas chuckle.

* * *

"I'm scared," Brooke whispered quietly as she sat in the passenger's seat of Lucas's car, which was currently parked outside of Tree Hill High.

"Why?" Lucas asked curiously. "Don't worry about what people think."

"Everyone is going to think I'm a whore," she bit back, picking at the hem of her skirt.

"Why would anyone think that?"

"Because everyone thinks I'm a whore after the whole sextape shit went down," she answered painfully. Lucas reached across the car and embraced her in a hug. "You are not a whore Brooke. Everyone makes mistakes, including you. Just ignore everyone and you'll be fine. You have blocks one, two, and five with me and either Rachel or Haley will be with you in the remaining blocks."

She nodded her head and Lucas got out and opened the door for her. "Let's go."

He reached for her hand and together they walked into the school. The minute she burst through the doors, all eyes were on her. It was like a repeat of just months before. Lucas gripped her hand tighter and guided her through the hall, shooting dirty looks at anyone who so much as looked at Brooke. "Just ignore them," he whispered in her ear as they approached their lockers.

The bell sounded indicating class. "I have to run to Whitey's office so I'm going to be late for class but I'll see you shortly. Save me a seat," Lucas smiled, wrapping his arms around Brooke.

She nodded and leaned in to give him a quick kiss but it lasted much longer as Lucas didn't want to pull away.

"Well, well if it isn't Tree Hill's cutest couple. You do know that whore slept with your brother right? It amazes me that you can even look at her without feeling disgusted," a snide voice jeered, breaking Lucas and Brooke from their lip lock.

"Peyton grow the fuck up," Lucas hissed coldly, putting a protective arm around his girlfriend.

"It's just funny that you can forgive her for being such a slut," Peyton shrugged her shoulders, glancing between her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend.

Lucas was about to protest when Brooke interjected. "Seriously Peyton, you have no right to sit here and call me a whore when you helped my boyfriend cheat on me too. You are not little Miss innocent in this situation and I know that what I did was wrong but it doesn't mean that you didn't do anything wrong because we are both at fault here!" Brooke yelled, her blood boiling with anger as she glared at her former best friend.

"Well at least my boyfriend actually loved me and not someone else," Peyton smirked, even though she knew that was bullshit.

"That's low Peyton even for you. Don't come here and tell me that I didn't love Brooke because you damn well know that I have loved Brooke since the day I first met her and saw the real her. What happened between us was a mistake. I was confused and I thought I loved you but then when I lost Brooke I realized that I would never love you the way I loved her. I was kidding myself into believing that I was over her when I was far from it. Why don't you get it Peyton? I never loved you, I just thought I did. It has always been Brooke and it always will be so you can fuck off and stay out of my life and out of Brooke's life until you are ready to accept the fact that I love Brooke and not you, and that Brooke is the furthest thing from a slut!"

"Fine, but this isn't over yet," Peyton growled, sending both Brooke and Lucas a glare, before stomping off in typical Peyton Sawyer fashion.

"Brooke," Lucas whispered as he noticed the pain in Brooke's eyes. Peyton's words had cut her deep.

"It's fine," she mumbled, wiping a tear as it slid from her eye.

"Come on, let's just go to class. I can see Whitey later," he smiled, putting his arm around her.

Brooke shook her head. "I just want to go home."

Lucas nodded. He knew this was tough for Brooke and it was better to just start over tomorrow.

"Will you come with me?" she asked, looking up at him with those angst-ridden hazel eyes and he knew there was no way he could turn them down.

* * *

When they reached Brooke's house, Lucas suggested that they lie down and just rest. As she sunk into bed next to Lucas, she felt his arms snake around her waist, and she could feel his hot breath tickling the back on her neck. "I love you," he whispered, kissing her bare shoulder.

"Luke, I just want to sleep," she mumbled, pushing him away from her.

"I'm sorry babe," he whispered, encircling his arms around her. "Just sleep and I'll lie here with you."

Slowly, Brooke drifted off into slumber, her thoughts racing wildly. She was reflecting on her life and some of the dumb choices she'd made but also the progress she's made.

_**I know some things that you don't  
I've done things that you won't  
There's nothing like a trail of blood **__**to find your way back home**_

**FLASHBACK**

_**Brooke fiddled with the pill in her hand, it's intricate design intriguing her. Lifting her head back she placed the pill on her tongue and gulped it down with a swish of water. She was already feeling out of it, thanks to the 3 caps of GHB she'd swallowed. **_

_**About an hour later, the substance was starting to kick in. Her vision became blurred and she found herself staring randomly at lights and shadows on the wall, paranoia taking over her mind. Victoria was asleep and Rachel had gone to visit her parents for a few days, leaving Brooke under her mother's watch. **_

_**Brooke stumbled to the couch, flicking on the TV and deciding to put in a movie. Her eyes seemed so trained on the TV and she found herself laughing hysterically at every part even if it wasn't funny. She was experiencing pure joy and euphoria and felt like she was on top of the fucking world. Nothing could bring her spirits down. **_

_**After the movie finished, Brooke made her way up the stairs, feeling extremely alert and wide awake. She was not even tired at all and she knew she wouldn't sleep tonight, the only downside to her favorite drug. **_

_**Her body was trembling and shivering once she crawled under the covers, pulling them up as far as she possibly could. She stared at the wall, tripping out and she started getting really paranoid. She was freaking out as she thought the shadows started moving. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to focus on one thing but she found that it was too hard to concentrate. She reached for the bottle of GHB and an orange juice box that rested in her bedside table. She twisted the lid of the liquid and poured it into the cap. She took a swig of orange juice and chased the lethal liquid, which tasted like Buckley's cough syrup down. She started feeling tired and hoped to drift off, even though her body would still be conscious.**_

_**The sun was starting to come up as Brooke awoke from her "sleep", although technically it wasn't sleeping, just resting. Her body shuddered violently as she lay in her bed strung out and high as fuck, knowing that she'd still be high when she got up tomorrow. She started sketching out again, the paranoia clouding her mind as her thoughts raced, jumping from topic to topic. "You've got to stop this Brooke. It's not you," she whispered to herself. Letting out a frustrated sigh she reached under her bed for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Shaking, she placed the cigarette in her mouth, fired up the lighter and lit it. She exhaled a huge cloud of smoke, calming her nerves. As she brought the cigarette to her lips for another drag, she could feel the poison entering her system and it sent a rush of adrenaline down her body. None of this was her and she knew it. But why was it so hard to stop? Brooke had become so accustomed to these drugs that she depended on them to get her through the days. When something went wrong they were always there for her to fall back on. **_

* * *

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes  
And see that life is beautiful.  
Will you swear on your life,  
That no one will cry at my funeral?**_

"AHHHHHHH!"

A horrified scream woke Lucas from the sleep he'd managed to drift off into. He woke up just in time to see Brooke bolt up in bed, tears streaming down her face, bleeding tracks of mascara with the hot tears.

"Brooke. What happened?" he whispered, pulling her trembling body closer to his.

"I just had a nightmare," she mumbled incoherently, her voice weak and shaky as she spoke.

"A nightmare?"

"More like a flashback but it was horrific," she moaned, pulling away from his embrace and staring into his eyes.

"A flashback of what?" he questioned.

"A night I did something bad in my past. Let's just say it involves drugs and it brought back some bad memories for me, stuff I've tried to forget."

Lucas nodded. "Do you wanna get up and do something then? We can go to the mall," he offered, knowing that Brooke would love to go to the mall.

She nodded her head. "Sure. Just let me go put some make up and make myself look presentable."

As she closed the bathroom door, Brooke let out a heavy sigh and stared in the mirror. For a second she could swear to god that she saw that girl. She saw the deadpanned hazel eyes, with the life drained from. She saw the pale skin and the blank emotionless expression. Her eyes were full of pain and hatred for the world. She looked so broken and helpless, alone in a world she hated. Brooke blinked and the image was gone. She saw her cheery self staring back at her and she shook her head. "She's gone Brooke. That girl is gone and she's never coming back," she told herself.

* * *

Nathan Scott let out a frustrated sigh as he missed the basket yet again. Angrily, he picked up the ball and whipped it away from the court, watching it sail into the river.

"Fuck," he grumbled as he drug himself over to the picnic table and sat with his head in his hands.

"It's hard isn't it?" a voice asked and Nathan instantly knew who it was.

"You don't know shit Lucas," he growled coldly, looking up at his older brother.

"Nathan, I didn't do anything wrong okay? I get that you're hurt Brooke chose me over you but I can't control that," Lucas explained impatiently. The last thing he wanted was to lose his brother.

"You hurt her for crying out loud Lucas and I don't want to see that happen again. You're just going to fucking break her heart!" Nathan cried out furiously.

"I am not Nathan. I love her," Lucas insisted.

"You say that now but later you'll just end up changing your mind and you'll break her heart again. She can't fucking handle that Lucas. She has been through so much and it will literally kill her!"

"I have never been so sure about something in my life. She is the one for me and I will never second guess that for a second. Nothing else matters because I love her and I will never hurt her again."

"Bullshit," Nathan jeered, tearing his gaze away from his brother.

"Nathan I'm trying here okay? I don't want to throw away everything that we worked for. It took us along time to become as close as we are now and I don't wanna ruin that. You're the only sibling I have Nate. I can't lose you."

"Lucas…" Nathan tried but Lucas cut him off.

"No just hear me out Nathan. I have lost so many people I care about. I can't lose you too Nathan. Other than my mom you are about the only family I have left and I never wanted this to ruin our friendship," Lucas finished.

"I didn't either but it's easier for you because she chose you. You don't have to live with the rejection," Nathan retorted.

"And you don't either. There are so many other girls out there. You just have to wait until the right one comes along."

"Are we good Nate?" Lucas asked after a moment of silence.

"I guess I can call you my brother again but things will never be the same," Nathan responded, giving his brother a quick pat on the back and walking away. "Just one more thing," he called over his shoulder. "I wouldn't screw this up. You break her heart and I break your face. Got it?"

* * *

**AN: It's short I know but I have 2 tests coming up and I wanted to get an update in before they took up all my time. Song lyrics are "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx AM. Next chapter will be GRADUATION DAY! I will also try to include some Brathan and Naley and maybe another Pathan scene because I love them so much. Might include some Breyton and Brachel as well. Please review!**


End file.
